Him

“Him”


It’s “him” again
just walking by,
with his heartbreaking smile.

Sitting by me and talking to me,
his eyes connect with mine.
No one else matters, just us.

We walk and talk and
although we are in a full hallway,
it only seems to be, the two of us.

Two hearts,
Two minds,
Two bodies.

He walks into his next class,
I still have the feeling.
The feeling you get when you know
you love someone very much.


be honest...what do you think?

it sounds a little too much like A LOT of other poems
you are showing signs of stlye in the form of the poem

I actually think that was the best part of it
the substance of the poem was very dry, it wasn't very deep
so all I can really say is that it was short, sweet, dry, but great form

I can see that with a little practice (and by that, I can see that you catch on quick, it won't take you years to start being great) you'll write some great stuff

don't be afraid to PM me your next poem, I don't visit this forum often enough

but I do hope to read more of your stuff

thanks...

It’s “him” again - I like that

thanks...i wrote it a long while ago...and fixed some things...