Tears

The tears splash down on to the desk,
I really, really need some rest,
The buds of sadness fall through the night,
Things wont ever be set right.

If you look in the mirror and hate what you see,
You can find out what it is like to be me
Tears, they fall in a never ending stream,
I cant stop the sadness so it seems.

People don’t know what I have been through,
If only, If only, if only they knew.


It short, but I like it.
Please leave your comments, I like to follow your advice.

I think it is ok. You’ve got some potential but you need some basic tools:

1. If you want to make it more poetic you can use metaphors (you slipped in a few but that’s not enough to make a good poem), grand words (be careful with that though) or be vague (but make sure you get the message across). You should use descriptive words (adjectives, adverbs).

2. Try to write about something that’s not so common or write in a different/unique way.

3. Try to write about something that other way of writing doesn’t give justice to. For example, what you wrote could have been some sort of letter or a diary entry. And if you still want to write about such things write them in a way so that it can only be a poem, nothing else.

4. Don’t steal other peoples work or bits of it
(“If you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see,
You can find out first hand what it’s like to be me,� – The End, My Chemical Romance)
If you want to include quotes you have to mention it somewhere as a reference, and you should have a good reason to use someone else’s words and not your own.

5. Free verse is easier to start with. It doesn’t limit you in any way and you can be much more elaborate.

6. If you want to rhyme you must think about the flow. Also you could try not to use too banal or predictable rhymes. Try not to use so obvious rhymes such as “knife, life� or “bed, said�. And don’t put in a rhyming word because you have to rhyme. You’ll end up with a forced rhyme and sentences that only are fillers.

As you know this are just tips. There quite handy though so do take them into consideration. Good luck writing!

Don’t steal other peoples work or bits of it
(“If you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see,
You can find out first hand what it’s like to be me,� – The End, My Chemical Romance)
_____

sorry about that, I couldnt think of anything good or lovely and poetic, I asure you, I never do that, and all of my other work is completely origonal

Aww, aww, aww, honey! Now dry your tears! I believe you. You don’t have to apologize, dear. I know it’s hard to write poetry. I was just giving you some tips you know. To try to help. But remember that it’s always better to write some not so awesome lines than to copy already existing ones. It’s important that your poem is yours. That’s what really matters the most. (even if I’m bitching about wording, and structure and everything that’s what it all comes down to in the end.)