Love me tomorrow

Your electric blue eyes pierce into mine.
Your smile cheers anyone's day,
telling them it's okay.
My friends say "Forget him!",
but I really can't.
Your hypnotizing ways,
put me in a trance.
But why, why her?
Why not me?
You raised me so high,
and then you dropped me,
falling from the sky.
I am left in the dust with my sorrow,
yet I still hope, I still wish,
you could love me tomorrow.

What do you think?

I like it. The last two lines are sweet.

Thanx!

I like it!

We. Are. Pilots.:

I like it!

Thank you!

If_Only_You_Knew:

Your electric blue eyes pierce into mine.
Your smile cheers anyone's day,
telling them it's okay.
My friends say "Forget him!",
but I really can't.

Hmmm. I feel the emotion, but I just think it's lacking.
Bold- I don't really think it needed to rhyme there. I also feel like the fisrt line is just sort of left out. Eyes piercing then smiling then friends/forgetting. It happened so fast.
The rest- I think it could have used a little more description. I am a personal fan of metaphors and other types of figurative language but that's just me.

new.slang got it right, but I just have to add a bit. Personally, I thought you had a concept in your mind and you just didn't translate it very well into a poem. You don't always have to rhyme, and when you do flow is important. Your rhyming wasn't needed, and the flow was off. i think the poem could be very nice if metaphors or more descriptions were added.