This Time It’s Farewell

AuthorMessage
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
What's in a name?
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451

Mibba
November 26th, 2006 at 11:04am
This Time It’s Farewell

There is an internal bleeding
on my conscious.
Would you help me?
We could stitch sympathy
back in place.
So sharpen the needle with regrets,
unbundled threads of disappointment
and sew some decency onto my soul.

Paint tears of shame down my cheeks,
draw lines of worry across my forehead.
Maybe you could even write a speech.
Put words of sorrow in my mouth and
make sure that I swallow, not just
spit them out.

But even after all this
I’m still selfish enough
to apologize.
After all that I’ve done
there is no hesitation
when saying I’m sorry.

Clearly you are not the one
who needs this destructive,
pathetic excuse for a relationship.

Scars and wounds from your
fulltime broken heart.
What can you see?
A pattern created by egocentric
actions of mine.
So practise on your goodbyes,
think about a place for the ashes
and choose your favourite hymn.

Because I think it’s fatal this time.









I don’t think I’m ever gonna be any better then this.
You’ve been a great help and I truly appreciate all the tips,
the constructive criticism and the feedback.
I’m afraid it’s no use anymore though.
Because I will never become a truly brilliant poet.
I’ll just have to be happy with the talent I’ve got. Wink
I’ll post poems every now and then and unless you’ll
perish without them (unlikely) I’m semi retiring.
(the poem is not about any of you btw).
I’d like some feedback on this poem in any case.
Thank you Cool


ILY <333 Kiss

Edit: scratch that everyone. Wink I will keep posting as always.
I was very down that week and it felt as if my poems didn’t really
matter that much. I know better now, sorry for making such a fuss.
Thank you all for you patience and support! It made all the difference
in the world. ILY to bits!
Misanthropist
Post Whore
Misanthropist
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 23279
November 26th, 2006 at 11:35am
o_____o semi-retiring? Oh...but your poems are always my favorites. I guess I'm happy if you post every once in a while.

By the way: The poem is awesome. The first and second stanzas are my favorite.
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
What's in a name?
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451

Mibba
November 26th, 2006 at 11:54am
Yeah, unless people here get too upset or I get any better. Shocked Seriously? Omg, thank you so much, dear. That really means a lot to me.

Thanks ^_^ I like them a lot too.
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
King For A Couple Of Days
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 2921

Mibba
November 26th, 2006 at 01:13pm
Surprised Semi-retiring? Why that's ridiculous. Don You know you're gonna have some stalkers on your hands once you do.

Holy smokes I adore the first two stanzas. And the last line fits absolutely perfectly and gives it a very defined final thought. I love it so much.

Just one very slight grammar correction:
who needs this destructive
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
What's in a name?
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451

Mibba
November 26th, 2006 at 02:40pm
Yes. No, not really, see reasons above^ Wink. Stalkers? But I’m not gonna quit writing and posting, I’m just not gonna do it as often.

Thanks, honey. And I wasn’t sure about the last line so thank you so much! Very Happy

Oops *fixes*
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Peter Petrelli
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161
November 26th, 2006 at 03:02pm
This is as if you can read my subconscious. If this personal then I feel exactly the same way. You can't retire, your writing touches me. It was like someone had written from my own hands.

So I can't give you criticism. Sorry. I can never criticise something which I recognise with.
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
What's in a name?
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451

Mibba
November 26th, 2006 at 03:32pm
Maybe I can Wink. It is indeed personal. The majority of my poems are. I’m not really retiring, I’m just not gonna be as active. I had no idea it did. I thought you just kind of liked it and nothing more. I’m so glad to know that you can relate, that’s real important to me. Kiss

It’s ok. You don’t always have to criticise, you know. I’m just as happy when people let me know what they really like about my poem. I want to hear what’s good too, not only what can be improved. Smile

ILY


Ok, fair enough. I’ll put in a poll for you so all get to vote. If you really want me to I’ll keep posting like before. Otherwise I’ll post poems every now and then. Is that ok?
new.slang
Idiot
new.slang
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 764
November 26th, 2006 at 04:15pm
*waits for the poll* You cannot stop writing often. Molly
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
What's in a name?
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451

Mibba
November 26th, 2006 at 04:26pm
Your wait is over. Of course I can, but if you feel strongly about it I'll keep on posting just as often as before. Smile
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Peter Petrelli
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161
November 26th, 2006 at 04:28pm
I'm not entirely sure. I don't mean that in a bad way - I just mean that I'll be happy whenever you post. If you feel that you don't want to post as often, that's fine, but we'll really miss your poetry.
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
What's in a name?
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451

Mibba
November 26th, 2006 at 04:43pm
It’s not that I don’t actually want to post. I had a long break during the summer and I have a lot to write about. It’s just that I don’t know if there’s a point since my poetry seem to have stopped at a level that’s great but not fantastic. I had no idea that you all cared so much for my poems. So it all comes down to what you guys want really. Because if I don’t get better, why post so often? If nobody really cares anyway. If you care it makes all the difference. I may not get better but at least I’ll contribute something to this thread (and to you).

(hope I made sense Wink)
The Doctor
Falling In Love With The Board
The Doctor
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 8786

Mibba Blog
November 27th, 2006 at 12:18pm
What's in a name?:
It’s not that I don’t actually want to post. I had a long break during the summer and I have a lot to write about. It’s just that I don’t know if there’s a point since my poetry seem to have stopped at a level that’s great but not fantastic. I had no idea that you all cared so much for my poems. So it all comes down to what you guys want really. Because if I don’t get better, why post so often? If nobody really cares anyway. If you care it makes all the difference. I may not get better but at least I’ll contribute something to this thread (and to you).

(hope I made sense Wink)
That makes sense to me.

but seriously...whenever I think people have had enough of my crap or I just lose things to type about I just take a break then get into the flow when I feel the need to.

Chaa...

But I will seriously miss your poetry.
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
What's in a name?
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451

Mibba
November 27th, 2006 at 12:37pm
I don't know if I'll semi-retiring yet. Five persons have voted that they want me to stay so...but I'll be a bit busy moderating this forum from now on. ^^
The Doctor
Falling In Love With The Board
The Doctor
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 8786

Mibba Blog
November 27th, 2006 at 12:45pm
What's in a name?:
I don't know if I'll semi-retiring yet. Five persons have voted that they want me to stay so...but I'll be a bit busy moderating this forum from now on. ^^
o_o

congrats Ah
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
What's in a name?
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451

Mibba
November 27th, 2006 at 12:51pm
Thanks Very Happy [/off topic]
Matt Smith
Admin
Matt Smith
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 31134

Mibba Blog
November 27th, 2006 at 05:19pm
Seriously.
Just carry on writing. o_o
I mean, if I'm a published poet, then you can be too.
Its a standard to aim for.
Maybe its just 'cause writing is practically my only talent (although my poems are more a means to an end... I'm a prose writer personally) but just because you'll never be world class doesn't mean you can't persevere. And trust me, you will get better.
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
What's in a name?
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451

Mibba
November 27th, 2006 at 05:39pm
Thank you. I needed that. A final push Razz

Ok, everyone, I won’t retire. You’ve convinced me. I’ll never say such a stupid thing again.
Sorry everyone Wink
new.slang
Idiot
new.slang
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 764
November 27th, 2006 at 08:04pm
Shake Yay! I'm really glad. You write great poetry and that pushes me to keep writing. [/creepystalkerconfession]
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