3 poems :]]

Nothing But a Memory
like a gunshot to my heart, you took my life away.
your abuse and love of violent things is why i am this way.

your venemous eyes tell me so much and burn into my skin.
behind that gorgeous smile of yours, i know evil lies within.

I fall into this madness, like the knife that cuts my heart.
Your intoxicating beauty is slowly tearing me apart.

I cannot bear your prescence, your voice lingers in my dreams.
You may think its love, but baby, nothings quite what it seems.

i'll kiss your sparkling eyes goodbye and pray i'll never wake.
Wash away my pain with tears of black to fix all your mistakes.

you look at me through those eyes of hate, filled up with regret.
tears fall from your broken eyes, reminising of when we first met.

you touch my fragile skin, it's so cold it burns your hand.
you whisper "i'm sorry", but i don't understand.

how could you be sorry if you let me go, and you come crawling back for more?
you can swear you love me, but with you i can't be sure.

your heart may be hurting, but mine's completely shattered.
i hope you will remember everything, even the things that never mattered.

So whisper your last "i love you" and eventually,
i'll become what you've become to me, nothing but a memory.



Take Me Back To December...
I'm Longing For Your Voice
To Echo Through My Head
That Is Nearly Impossible
Seeing As Your Dead
Take Me Back To December
When The Cold Washed Away The Tears
When The Light Shined So Brightly On Us
Through All Those Happy Years
Your Body Lies Rotting
As I'm The One Who Got Away
I Wanted So Much More For You
There's Just Nothing Left To Say
You Haunt Me With Your Smiles
And Tear-Streaked Lullabies
I Am Numb To Feeling
Revolting You; I Close My Eyes
Don't You Try To Wake Up
Your Soul Is Too Far Gone
I'll Lay Sleepless Forever
You Shouldn't Have Played Along
The Frozen Mornings Remind Me
Of How It Used To Be
No More Of Your Precious Breathing
Or Loving You Endlessly
Take Me Back To December
When I Knew How To Smile
When I Knew The Sound Of Your Heartbeat
If Only Just For A While
Take Me Back To December
When I Could See Your Face
When I Could Feel Those Feelings
Noone Else Will Ever Replace
When The Snow Falls Down Around Me
I Always Will Remember
How It Felt To Be Alive Inside
Take Me Back To December...





The Scar THat Won't Go Away...
You'll Be Right Here With Me;; So In Love
I'll Never Ever Let You Go
I'm Trying So Hard To Remind You Of
The Things You Should Never Show
I Dread The Despair In Your Voice When You Whisper "Let Me Go"
Because I Know I Can Never Forget
All The Times You Stopped My Tears
And All That Your Words Meant
The Fire In Your Eyes
Is Burning Brightly In My Soul
I Have To Question My Sanity
Because Of All The Lies You've Told
That Really Doesn't Matter
Only Emptyness Inside
I Swore Up and Down That I Loved You
Guess What Hunny, I Lied...
I Can't Verbalize The Abuse I Feel
Or How Much I Messed Up This Time
I Just Know It Feels Like Hell
To Always Have You On My Mind
I Break Hearts And Enjoy It
I Find Pleasure In Others Pain
I'm A Sick, Twisted Harlot
That Has Nothing To Gain
Wipe Away Your Tears
Move On With Your Life
Forget About Your Sadness
There's No Use For That Knife
Open Up Your Eyes
Realize I'm No Good!
You Haven't Listened To Your Heart
Everytime I Told You That You Should
Don't Ever Tell Me Goodbye
Just Push Thoughts Of Me Away
I Am The Mess You Chose
The Scar That Won't Ever Go Away...




Together We Can Be Saved...
I Let You Go
I let you fly
So why do I keep asking why?
Why did I ever Let You go? Let You Leave?
How could I let you slip away from me?
I'm Trying Not To Love You, I'm Trying To Walk Away
But, The More I Try To Forget You, The More I Want You To Stay
I Wish That You Could See This, The Love Built In My Heart
Trying To Captivate You, Ripping Me Apart
I Don't Want Anymore Mascara Tears Running Down My Face
I Feel So Cold and Lonely, An Everyday Disgrace
I Want To Leave The Past Behind, Go Forward With No Looking Back
Time Does Not Heal Everything, My World Feels Distant and Black
I Had Such A Perfect Dream, Now It's So Shattered and Broken
I Ruined It So Perfectly, Before I Had Even Spoken
I Was So Scared Of The Demons, Breathing In My Heart
That I Killed Loves Flame Before It Ever Had A Chance To Start
I Scream Violently In My Head, I See Us Walking Hand In Hand
If I Tried To Explain Right Now, I Don't Think You'd Understand
I Love The Way Your Dying, I'd Like To Be Dead, Too
Wouldn't It Be So Perfect? Togeher In Heaven, Me and You
My Home Is In Your Heart. Your Happiness I took Away
I Held Your Smile Captive, Wishing You Would Stay
I Can't Stand The Words "It's Over." So Please Don't Dissappear
I need You To Stay With Me, I Need You To Hear
To Hear How Much I Love You, How Much I'd Like To Prove
How Much I'd Like to Kill Regret and Be In Love With You
I Want To Be Your Only One: Together 'till The Grave
To Hold You Close And Kiss Your Lips
Together We Can Be Saved...




Ok...Tell Me What You Think
Critique, if you must :]]

Nothing But a Memory

overall i thought it was okay. My favorite line would be: So whisper your last "i love you" and eventually,
i'll become what you've become to me, nothing but a memory. But, that was the only line I thought was above average, nothing really spoke to me.

Take Me Back To December This is probably my favorite poem of the four you posted. I liked the rhyming scheme, oddly, and I thought the repetition 'take me back to december' was good and not overused. For some reason The frozen mornings remind me
of how it used to be (red text) sounded a little too common. It reminds me of lines in many songs and poems and I think another phrase could've been used. This is just what I thought when I read it.
The last line, I felt could've been ended better. The whole poem didn't work to be ended with an elipses and I think you could've finalized it with a statement that sums up the feelings of the poem. (bad example but here it is) ie: Take me back to december, when everything was okay.

The Scar That Won't Ever Go Away
I didn't care for this one. The line Move on with your life, forget about your sadness, there's no use for that knife I thought was especially terrible. The rhyme 'life' and 'knife' is a grotesquely overused one, and it makes a poem automatically seem common.
Also I'll never let you go.
I'm trying so hard to remind you of,
the things you should never show.
I dread the despair in your voice when you whisper 'let me go'
I think for the second 'let you go' you should picked a different phrasing, or maybe not have mentioned it in the second line of your poem.

Together We Can Be Saved

For this one, i'm going to suggest you rewrite in free verse. The subject was not any justice in the rhyming sense and I also got an uncreative, common, forced feeling from it. The line I let you go
I let you fly
So why do I keep asking why? wasn't a very intriguing way to start a poem.

That's basically all my opinions, although i feel I should add that the last three poems of your were made hard to read because you Captatilized Every Word Like This, and there was no real punctuation besides the interjectives.
So my main advice is that when writing a poem, always edit and maybe try the same subject with free verse.

Misanthropist:

Nothing But a Memory

overall i thought it was okay. My favorite line would be: So whisper your last "i love you" and eventually,
i'll become what you've become to me, nothing but a memory. But, that was the only line I thought was above average, nothing really spoke to me.

Take Me Back To December This is probably my favorite poem of the four you posted. I liked the rhyming scheme, oddly, and I thought the repetition 'take me back to december' was good and not overused. For some reason The frozen mornings remind me
of how it used to be (red text) sounded a little too common. It reminds me of lines in many songs and poems and I think another phrase could've been used. This is just what I thought when I read it.
The last line, I felt could've been ended better. The whole poem didn't work to be ended with an elipses and I think you could've finalized it with a statement that sums up the feelings of the poem. (bad example but here it is) ie: Take me back to december, when everything was okay.

The Scar That Won't Ever Go Away
I didn't care for this one. The line Move on with your life, forget about your sadness, there's no use for that knife I thought was especially terrible. The rhyme 'life' and 'knife' is a grotesquely overused one, and it makes a poem automatically seem common.
Also I'll never let you go.
I'm trying so hard to remind you of,
the things you should never show.
I dread the despair in your voice when you whisper 'let me go'
I think for the second 'let you go' you should picked a different phrasing, or maybe not have mentioned it in the second line of your poem.

Together We Can Be Saved

For this one, i'm going to suggest you rewrite in free verse. The subject was not any justice in the rhyming sense and I also got an uncreative, common, forced feeling from it. The line I let you go
I let you fly
So why do I keep asking why? wasn't a very intriguing way to start a poem.

That's basically all my opinions, although i feel I should add that the last three poems of your were made hard to read because you Captatilized Every Word Like This, and there was no real punctuation besides the interjectives.
So my main advice is that when writing a poem, always edit and maybe try the same subject with free verse.

Thank you so much for taking the time to do that :]]