Faked Reality [temporary title]

Our hearts beat in time with the other,
Our breathing is tangled and soft.
Maybe you’re just my imagination,
Maybe this is all just a dream.

But it seems so real, lying here next to you,
Feeling your breath, warm against my skin.
Your arms draped over my waist in sleep,
Hiding the secret that you and I keep.

But as I awake,
To the alarm clock’s ring,
I know that it wasn’t really you,
It was just my imagination,
Creating a dream that will never come true.

----------------

Watchoo think?

I wrote it a while ago, and I came upon it and thought I'd post it.

Miss Misfit:

TCD!
tis lovely.
:]

Thank you!

My poems have been becoming steadily more crappier...

'Your arms draped over my waist in sleep,
Hiding the secret that you and I keep'.

Those lines were absolutely gorgeous.

The only criticism I have is that (and this is a difficult criticism to make) is that it was too short. I just mean that for the subject you were writing about, it could've been even better if you'd written more and slowly built up a strong image before writing the last stanza.

Just a thought.

Ginger Nuts:

'Your arms draped over my waist in sleep,
Hiding the secret that you and I keep'.

Those lines were absolutely gorgeous.

The only criticism I have is that (and this is a difficult criticism to make) is that it was too short. I just mean that for the subject you were writing about, it could've been even better if you'd written more and slowly built up a strong image before writing the last stanza.

Just a thought.

Thanks for the tip. I'll keep it in mind.

As I said, it was a really old poem, so I'll try to keep that in mind if I write any others like this.