Jesse Lacey
Post Whore
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 23946
  | December 5th, 2006 at 08:28pm I haven't named it yet. It's not good, so any feedback will help a lot. Thanks. :]
False accusations, you've got worse battles to fight.
The tiny things keep you up at night.
Some say it's insomnia, paranoia sums it best.
Lay your head down,hun, you're gonna need your rest.
The constant bickering brings tears to your eyes.
It's in your head, does anyone realise?
You wish the thoughts would regress.
And all your "friends" could care less.
You think you've got it all figured out.
You thought it through, without a doubt.
You don't own up to your own actions,
you say the others lack compassion.
You're searching deep inside yourself.
You've got a lack of dignity.
The constant bickering brings tears to your eyes.
It's in your head, does anyone realise?
You wish the thoughts would regress.
And all your "friends" could care less.
It's in your head day and night.
Every battle you've decided to fight.
Your friends weren't there to back you up,
and now you're left with no trust.
Carrying on with the memories in your brain.
Reliving it constantly brings back the pain.
The constant bickering brings tears to your eyes.
It's in your head, does anyone realise?
You wish the thoughts would regress.
And all your "friends" could care less. |
Sara.
This Board Is My Home
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 31155 | December 5th, 2006 at 08:29pm Only thing I can suggest, Is for the future ditch the rhyming.
...Unless, you like it that way.
moving on, I really like it (: |
Jesse Lacey
Post Whore
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 23946
| December 5th, 2006 at 08:36pm Over-Rated:Only thing I can suggest, Is for the future ditch the rhyming.
...Unless, you like it that way.
moving on, I really like it (:
I like it that way, but I can ease up on it.
Thanks. :] |
love.
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 2844 | December 8th, 2006 at 08:35pm i really like it. Its deep. which makes it even better. |
Jesse Lacey
Post Whore
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 23946
| December 10th, 2006 at 05:04pm Twigg Violence.:i really like it. Its deep. which makes it even better.
Thanks. :]
Any advice to better it? |
Rhiannon.
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 2999
| December 11th, 2006 at 09:24am all i'd say is what sara said; the ryhmes are a tid bit forced in some places, but besides that, i like it. |
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451
| December 11th, 2006 at 10:09am Uzumaki Naruto:good one.
reminds me Pink Floyd lyrics
†Gothic_zAi†:tis ok
*delet your posts*
Now would be a good time to actually read #1  |
Jesse Lacey
Post Whore
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 23946
| December 11th, 2006 at 06:28pm [ Rhiannon ]:all i'd say is what sara said; the ryhmes are a tid bit forced in some places, but besides that, i like it.
Thank you. :] |
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161 | December 12th, 2006 at 12:05pm I liked it. I can tell you're a Taking Back Sunday fan. It has the qualities of their lyrics. A few lines were a little forced, but overall I thought it was pretty awesome, and very catchy. I LOVE the first stanza.  |
Jesse Lacey
Post Whore
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 23946
| December 14th, 2006 at 04:51pm Ginger Nuts:I liked it. I can tell you're a Taking Back Sunday fan. It has the qualities of their lyrics. A few lines were a little forced, but overall I thought it was pretty awesome, and very catchy. I LOVE the first stanza.
Thanks. :]
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
:]] |
