BillieStoleMyVirginity
Geek
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 359
 | December 9th, 2006 at 04:21am You awake
amidst the night
confronted by
a flickering light
Oh, what relevance it bore
to elegant lady
and degraded whore
and the ligt
it taunts you so
as it fades
this you know
'tis purely an invention of greed
so sprang forth
the Holy Creed
so you fall
back into sleep
dream of secrets
you no longer keep
then you realise
the end is near
so you release
for all to hear
for if you don't
they shall ever be fooled
you cry, hallelujah! |
Addison Montgomery.
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 7078
 | December 9th, 2006 at 06:44am It confused me because it was vertical instead of horisontal but it was good. |
°MorbidRose°
Jackass
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 1723
| December 9th, 2006 at 01:03pm It was nice.
Just try to split up the stanzas to make it a little easier to read, and the rhyme scheme seemed to die in the end.
This line seemed out of context as well: you cry, hallelujah! |
