The GSB Writers Circle.

Aaaaaah. Amazing choice of poem, Joan; this was always one of my favourites of yours.

Ginger Nuts:

Aaaaaah. Amazing choice of poem, Joan; this was always one of my favourites of yours.

Thanks

Yeah, I agree. That was really thought provoking and the writing itself was just like...wow.

Mutually Destructive

Flowers in your
Hands covered in
Shame knows no
Boundries are crossed.
But to you,
I assume it's the same.

Provoking me
Into disbelief
and saying
My words are lies?

I expected better
Perhaps that was my fault
But you're not one iota better
Now there's nothing there at all.

Infidels like raindrops
Falling away from you
Turn your back on my
Apologies are no use.

Two of us
Then three, then four
What graceful lovers we make
Unfaithful all the more.


EDIT: I wrote but "you you". Its supposed to be "to you". That's a pretty huge typo...

I finally got something! Woot! And yes Joan, I took the title from the poem you submitted for simplicity. I read the poem after it was done and then I just thought of that line "How mutually destructive, you and I." So yeah.

I got a real lyrical vibe from it. It's very bouncy and frenetic, and would make awesome scathing, bitter lyrics.

'Infidels like raindrops
Falling away from you'.
^ I especially loved these lines, they were simply poetic and so accessible.

http://www.geekstinkbreath.net/board/viewtopic.php?p=5289020#5289020

My attempt. It's about religious faith - well, the word 'faith' gave me an awesome idea. Because I'm writing a fantasy story at the moment, I thought that I'd write something about faith in magical worlds, and what it could mean. Yeah... it's far too 'me'.

^ I love the words, the imagery

Ginger Nuts, I love your stuff. Its all like...fantastic. That came straight from the Dept. of Redundancy Dept. but its the only way to put it. Its really so surreal. It's like a poem for a Salvador Dali painting.

Thank you. I was stuck for inspiration for so long, that finishing it was a realw eight off my shoulders.

Ginger Nuts:

http://www.geekstinkbreath.net/board/viewtopic.php?p=5289020#5289020

My attempt. It's about religious faith - well, the word 'faith' gave me an awesome idea. Because I'm writing a fantasy story at the moment, I thought that I'd write something about faith in magical worlds, and what it could mean. Yeah... it's far too 'me'.

I adore it. The words are absolutely amazing, and the flowwwwwwwwww. Homg.Iloveit.

lyrical_gaah52:

Mutually Destructive

Flowers in your
Hands covered in
Shame knows no
Boundries are crossed.
But to you,
I assume it's the same.

Provoking me
Into disbelief
and saying
My words are lies?

I expected better
Perhaps that was my fault
But you're not one iota better
Now there's nothing there at all.

Infidels like raindrops
Falling away from you
Turn your back on my
Apologies are no use.

Two of us
Then three, then four
What graceful lovers we make
Unfaithful all the more.

I utterly love this. It's got teh odd poitical resonation in it, but it's so personal. Ahh.

I just...ahh...punctuation, man.

...

I have decided to boycott punctuation Who really needs periods and commas anyway I don't I can make sentences without punctuation See I can write just fine

lyrical_gaah52:

...

I have decided to boycott punctuation Who really needs periods and commas anyway I don't I can make sentences without punctuation See I can write just fine

The space bar is punctuation too.

Joan Greenwood:

lyrical_gaah52:

...

I have decided to boycott punctuation Who really needs periods and commas anyway I don't I can make sentences without punctuation See I can write just fine

The space bar is punctuation too.

Noitsnot

Who's choosing the next topic?

Yeah. Good question. Joanie, you have two days to decide. Otherwise that weird dude from Modest Mouse will come to your house and decide for you.

I found a second poem for the Circle before it ends! Woot! Joan and Rose have read this one before. It was the second one I posted on GSB. I didn't even remember writing it until I stumbled across it. ...I still don't remember writing it...but I did. I know that for sure. It's called Stop. Its about faith in yourself. And I know Rose doesn't like it.

Stop
Stop doubting yourself
Stop doting on others
Stop fishing for praise
And pretending to blubber

Stop writing and posting
Then acting a fool
Insulting yourself
Does not make you "cool".

Stop whining and wasting
Withering away
If you like what you do
You need no one to say
"I love your work"
"I worship your ground."
"I don't know what I'd do"
"If you weren't around"

Stop being impatient
The fruit will come.
Stop wondering when
Just live
Live and love.

I thought that it flowed beautifully; so much so it was almost musical.

I wasn't too keen on the first stanza, mainly because I wasn't sure about the word 'blubber'.

I could see the message in it, about having faith in yourself - but it was very harsh. You're trying to instill faith into someone who obviously needs reassurance by metaphorically taking them hard and shaking them by the shoulders. It just reminded me of someone telling me to stop being so pathetic because I didn't have any self confidence. Do you understand what I mean by that, I might be a little vague.

Yeah, I get what you mean. But I wrote it about this other GSB poet who kept posting her poems on here, and if no one commented after ten minutes, she'd be all "fine, if you hate it, just say so" and stuff like that. Rose and I both told her to stop being so whiny and grow up. But she did the same thing for like 5 other poems. So I wrote this about people who are like "ZOMG Dis SUx ReAD it!" about their own poems. they do it on other boards too.

I can see what you mean with that; there's a difference between someone having little self esteem and just playing on people's guilt to get praise.