Nowhere

Tragic eyes, glimmering bright,
Fading fast, far into the past,
Holding secrets of lies, neglect and heartache,
Pouring out like liquid poison.

Secrets held, igniting fear in her chest,
A neurosis connection,
Sparking a terrific reaction,
A blood curdling scream, reverbating through the air,

Anger, hatred, pain burns bright,
A final epiphany on this dark night,
The blanket thickens as she drops down.

She's dark, cold, scared and alone.

But where is she?

Nowhere.

No-one?

Hmmm Its okay.


Its kinda cliché in parts. But keep working.

^Thanks for the advice and taking your time to give it a look, I really appreciate it.

Tragic eyes, glimmering bright,
Fading fast, far into the past,
Holding secrets of lies, neglect and heartache,
Pouring out like liquid poison.
I really like this. It flows real well and it’s beautifully written. Great phrasing and word choice.

Secrets held, igniting fear in her chest,
A neurosis connection,
Sparking a terrific reaction,
A blood curdling scream, reverbating through the air,
Perhaps you meant “ Reverberating”? I think you made a typo? This part is well written but feels a bit choppy. I think it has to do with the variation in length among the rows.

Anger, hatred, pain burns bright,
A final epiphany on this dark night,
The blanket thickens as she drops down.
I would have preferred if you haven’t repeated “bright”. You’ve already used it and it would be easy to replace it with a synonym. I like the stanza otherwise.

She's dark, cold, scared and alone.
This is kinda obvious. And it’s sorta cliché.

But where is she?
I really didn’t like this. Far too simple, it stands out too much. Keep to your chosen register

Nowhere.
Nice ending. Had been better if the two stanzas/rows above this one had been better.
Of course you do as you wish with your poem

All and all I like this poem. The ending could have been better but oh well. You have a real beautiful way of writing so keep it up.