Autopsy

Okay, I don't write poetry often, so I doubt it's very good, but I wanted some opinions on it....



Autopsy


Cut me open to see how I died.
In the end, all that matters is what was inside.
Did I die from a broken heart, or one too ill-used.
Was I dead from the start, or should I blame it on you?

Slice across my chest. Expose me to the world.
If you're not careful, I could be hurled
So much farther into madness than I have ever been.
Just be careful with my death, as if you've ever been
That way with my life.

What happened to me? Do you know yet?
Murder, or suicide, or just an accident?
Natural causes? Maybe. You'll just have to find out.
So much left to see, yet never a clear route.

Just cut me open to see how I died.

They all know now why I am this way.
A murder, yes, murder, that's what the newscasters say.
You've killed me this time; the deed is done.
But this life is mine; you'll never know you've won.

Just cut me open. See how I died.
In the end, all that matters is what was inside.
Did I die from a broken heart or one too ill-used?
Yes, I was dead from the start, but I'll still blame it on you.

I was dead from the start, but I blame it on you.




*What do you think?*

Slice across my chest. Expose me to the world.
If you're not careful, I could be hurled
So much farther into madness than I have ever been.
Just be careful with my death, as if you've ever been
That way with my life

I didn't really understand this part.

Cut me open to see how I died.
In the end, all that matters is what was inside.
Did I die from a broken heart, or one too ill-used.
Was I dead from the start, or should I blame it on you?

I liked this part. Espesically the bold

Skullivan.[Im Not Okay]:

Slice across my chest. Expose me to the world.
If you're not careful, I could be hurled
So much farther into madness than I have ever been.
Just be careful with my death, as if you've ever been
That way with my life

I didn't really understand this part.

Cut me open to see how I died.
In the end, all that matters is what was inside.
Did I die from a broken heart, or one too ill-used.
Was I dead from the start, or should I blame it on you?

I liked this part. Espesically the bold

Well, for the first part, it's kind of wavering on the metaphor there. Maybe I've been watching too much CSI, but when they do an autopsy, they cut the dead person open with a slice across the chest and then down the center of the stomach...
About the madness, it shows the other side of the metaphor; you're talking to somebody and if the make a wrong move, it could make things worse instead of making them better. I dunno, it's sort of a touchy verse.

Thanks for commenting!

'Slice across my chest. Expose me to the world.
If you're not careful, I could be hurled
So much farther into madness than I have ever been.
Just be careful with my death, as if you've ever been
That way with my life. '


FAV PART!!! i thought it was easily understandable. =] good job. made me think of CSI fav show. =]

I thought this was really good. Can I print this out and hang it on my wall? I'll give you credit.

Thanks! And yeah, sure, Disenchanted Disenchanter.

It is really awesome.

It's so awesome to see how others write songs because pretty much everybody has their own way to do it.

And yours just rocks face.

Like it would make a good song.

YouSay[Vickie]!WeSayDie!:

Like it would make a good song.

Thanks... I was thinking of making it a song once I learn to play an instrument.

amazing.
this is truely a great poem!
i heart it bunches.
good job!

There's some parts that I found stunning. But then there were parts that I didn't like at all.

You know what they say; practice makes perfect.

Keep writing