DudeO
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 2543
 | December 24th, 2006 at 02:03pm Rip offs, strip offs, grip off reality
Lose control, dying soul, destruction, loss, and monarchy
Not a glance at taking chance, Is this fate, our destiny?
When our youth is to be glued into place, and that is free.
Broken hearts, ignoring art, a sword stuck in the softest stone
Deep depression, no affection, flared aggression, egos grown
They took a bet and lost the gamble, scrambled to find all was blown,
But if low they stooped when in a group, then what will they do when on their own?
Dirty streets, humanity, a voiceless, heartless, hopeless time,
What’s for youth when only truth is brought out in the worst of crime?
Candy coated faults and mishaps, buttered up to hide their lies,
bribes and stealing, wounds not healing, evil laughter- the devil’s chime. |
sarah_isa_punkrocker
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 27 | December 24th, 2006 at 02:20pm emo music..blah |
DudeO
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 2543
| December 24th, 2006 at 07:04pm im_a_nimrod27:emo music..blah
Excuse me, may I point out that A.) This is a poem, not music-though music is poetic, not all poems are musical.
b.) Emo? No, it isnt. If you even read this poem, it's about today's downside. Being aware of our earth throwing itself into a gutter isnt emo, it's trying to make the rest of the world apparent of our faults.
and c.) Please find the meaning in the poems before you go critisizing.
I can take constructive critisism. But what you said was just... stupid. Downright immature. |
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451
| December 26th, 2006 at 08:31am im_a_nimrod27:emo music..blah
You’re on thin ice, buddy 
1#, #3 |
Magazine Sickness.
Geek
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 443
 | December 26th, 2006 at 09:00am i like it.
id like to read something that encompasses more about our generation; that captures a deep truth that everybody feels.
this has inspired me to write such a thing.
thankyuu <33 |
sarah_isa_punkrocker
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 27 | January 3rd, 2007 at 02:02pm i wasnt talking about the fucking poem!!!!!! i swear..i thought we were supposed to post a comment about today's sound as in todays music..
i'm not that rude. |
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161 | January 3rd, 2007 at 02:08pm Ummm, what do you not understand about 'Your Poetry'? That's what this board is - to post poetry and get criticism on it.
I absolutely loved it. It didn't flow awfully well, but what you wrote was really good.
'Broken hearts, ignoring art, a sword stuck in the softest stone
Deep depression, no affection, flared aggression, egos grown'.
^I particularly liked these lines, I thought the 'softest stone' image was beautiful.
I think you could reduce 'But if low they stooped when in a group, then what will they do when on their own?' slightly. It ruins the structure of the poem, and it reads awkwardly too.
But other than that, I really liked it. Great.  |
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451
| January 4th, 2007 at 02:07pm im_a_nimrod27:i wasnt talking about the fucking poem!!!!!! i swear..i thought we were supposed to post a comment about today's sound as in todays music..
i'm not that rude.
In that case you shouldn't have posted that comment at all. What, you thought it was about music genres of today and made a statement about emo music (which you seem to dislike)? If that’s the case your post was indeed misinterpreted, on the other hand it’s off topic and making such posts can get you temporary banned. So, to clear things out, demon_girl_121 posted a poem in the Your Poetry section and you made a post about how you dislike emo music. See what went wrong here  |
sarah_isa_punkrocker
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 27 | January 23rd, 2007 at 07:57pm im new..sorry. |
