WeeHez90
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 76 | January 5th, 2007 at 06:43pm Sorrow
I feel this like a burning hole
It feels just like i have no soul
Im lost without you it's clear to see
I wonder why this has come to be
I lost all hope and can't be free
I need some help to become me
You know i miss you it must be clear
As i look across this empty pier
My life just spirals down and down
I wonder when i'll hit the ground
This life is ment to be easy
Oh no the sorrow is here to stay
As long as im so far away.
Tell me wot ya think of my poem plz, i just wrote it because i have to let my sadness come out somehow and writing this poem seemed to help! Tell me what ya think!!!  |
love.
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 2844 | January 7th, 2007 at 02:44pm its really good. & it rymes..which makes it even cooler =] |
WeeHez90
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 76 | January 7th, 2007 at 02:53pm HeHe thankies! =D glad u like it =) |
Dead End Girl
Addict
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 10219 | January 7th, 2007 at 03:33pm It's change the rhyme scheme. The AA BB just seems to detract from the poem. You have to be really good to pull it off.
It seems kind of cliche.
Also, don't psot replies to comments made.
It's against the rules. N'...stuff.
So yeah. |
Generation Terrorist
Geek
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 250 | January 7th, 2007 at 03:35pm Dead End Girl:It's change the rhyme scheme. The AA BB just seems to detract from the poem. You have to be really good to pull it off.
It seems kind of cliche.
Also, don't psot replies to comments made.
It's against the rules. N'...stuff.
So yeah.
My God, is that REALLY one of the rules now? That's fucking rediculous!
but anyway, yeah, it does sound pretty cliched and the rhyme scheme is pretty bland, but it's not awful. |
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451
 | January 7th, 2007 at 03:42pm Generation Terrorist:Dead End Girl:It's change the rhyme scheme. The AA BB just seems to detract from the poem. You have to be really good to pull it off.
It seems kind of cliche.
Also, don't psot replies to comments made.
It's against the rules. N'...stuff.
So yeah.
My God, is that REALLY one of the rules now? That's fucking rediculous!
but anyway, yeah, it does sound pretty cliched and the rhyme scheme is pretty bland, but it's not awful.
Actually, it's not. If you look carefully at the rules you'll see that comments such as "thank you", in fact, is allowed  |
WeeHez90
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 76 | January 7th, 2007 at 03:44pm What's in a name?:Generation Terrorist:Dead End Girl:It's change the rhyme scheme. The AA BB just seems to detract from the poem. You have to be really good to pull it off.
It seems kind of cliche.
Also, don't psot replies to comments made.
It's against the rules. N'...stuff.
So yeah.
My God, is that REALLY one of the rules now? That's fucking rediculous!
but anyway, yeah, it does sound pretty cliched and the rhyme scheme is pretty bland, but it's not awful.
Actually, it's not. If you look carefully at the rules you'll see that comments such as "thank you", in fact, is allowed
"Any reply where the poet thanks the people giving their opinion is of course allowed." |
