What If's and I'm Sorry's

What if it had never happened.
What if, at one point, I had said no.
What if there were no more what if's?
What would we be like then?
Would we be just friends?
Or would we be more than that?
If we were more than that, would we be this perfect little couple?
Or would we be the most screwed up couple this world has ever seen?
What if alcohol had never influenced us?
What if, at some point, it had happened on it's own?
What if they hadn't encouraged us?
What would life be like?
Would we be having this argument?
Would you really want to ruin me?
Would you want to make sure that I could never be as happy as I was before?
What if it hadn't happened?
Would you still hate me like you do right now, at this very moment?
What if we hadn’t done it?
What if our lives were still normal and we were just friends?
Would it still hurt that you hate me now?
Would it still hurt because I had to hurt you?

I’m sorry that you hate me.
I’m sorry that I hurt you.
I’m sorry because no matter what happens this was never right.
I’m sorry that we’re not still friends.
I’m sorry I thought we ever were.
I’m sorry because the pain I’m feeling must just be like a scratch compared to what I put you through.
I’m sorry that I thought we could ever be more than what we were.
I’m sorry that we’re not even that now.
I’m sorry that we ever tried.
I’m sorry that I left you.
I’m sorry that I loved you.
I’m sorry.