sgresfgse
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 1 | February 8th, 2007 at 08:35pm The things you love.
The things you dont.
We all need it
Just for our hope.
Why cant life be
Amazing.
Why cant life be
Everything.
Need to get on.
Need to become more.
Stop in your path.
And explore.
Life will not be the same.
When it moves on
When it goes a different path.
And your left alone.
So do what you want now.
While its how you want it.
Do what you want now.
And try to control it.
Cause lifes not right
When it all goes wrong.
Lifes not right.
Till you sing a song. |
I Am So Beautiful! FUCK!
Jackass
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 1019
 | February 8th, 2007 at 10:13pm Pretty good. All those spaces aren't really needed, they just take up room. It's pretty simple but gives a good message. I think any poem can be good if it's message is good. Perhaps some descriptive words, adjectives in other words, or just more complex words could really add to your poetry. Nice job though. ^_^ |
