davey jones.
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 7018
  | February 9th, 2007 at 10:09pm Okay, so I haven't done this in a while, so I decided today I was gonna try it on for size. I don't think this is by far the best, nor worst. I'm not used to poetry construction; I write stories without rules. I guess it's good for an artist to explore. I didn't want to name this some generic title, so I just left it as best as I could explain the whole thing; Untitled.
Untitled
I see, I see this canvas around me.
The paint is what I choose
To see. And its intricasies are
An illusion, dear delusion, cold confusion.
The clothe beneath my willowly fingers
Is where the tangled seams of
Thought weave, intertwining with
My mind, the place I linger.
And when I construct a world
Of my own, I see, I see. |
Ely
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 25 | February 10th, 2007 at 02:25pm Nice because you have lots of rhymes. Good work. |
lyrical_mess
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 5278
| February 11th, 2007 at 12:52pm Oh. My. God.
And you worry that you can't write? This is amazing. I love the stresses and the general structure. Especially:
To see. And its intricasies are
An illusion, dear delusion, cold confusion.
Like, I had to read the whole thing aloud just to get the real feel of it. And I loved it so much. Its just...pwnage. And it fits right in with this fornight's Writers Circle. |
