Ex.Of.A.Freak.-TCD
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 87
Gender: Female
Posts: 5844
 | March 1st, 2007 at 09:38pm Sin By Moonlight
We rock the relation-ship
Like lovers hips grinding in the backseat.
Friction creating stars before our eyes;
The stars that dreamers wish upon,
To have what we have, only in writing.
Hushed silence.
Lies whispered as we smile in the dark.
It hides what will be shown.
Match your breath to the music.
Someone's coming now.
The devil's sin is provocative in our ears.
Take the angel and face the faithful.
"Look what you've done now."
We're gasping out truths,
Spilling out lies,
And forgetting the world.
Two hearts beat in favour of the earth as dust,
As it always was, even before we started.
:::::
This is the outcome of a teenage girl raging with emotions plus a lack of sleep. xDD |
wait_what
Geek
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 411
 | March 1st, 2007 at 09:43pm The first two lines made me laugh. Wasn't sure if that was the point... but it is a funny metaphor/play on words. 
I like it. It's pretty basic and simple, but it really suits the poem. Good job. |
Ex.Of.A.Freak.-TCD
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 87
Gender: Female
Posts: 5844
| March 1st, 2007 at 09:46pm Thank you. =]
Yes, it is supposed to have a tiny bit of humor. |
wait_what
Geek
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 411
| March 1st, 2007 at 09:48pm Okay. That's good. Good job of conveying the humor, then.  |
PaNcAkEs
Jackass
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 1808
| March 2nd, 2007 at 12:26pm good writing, i like it |
