Revenge;;
Geek
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 270
 | March 10th, 2007 at 04:04pm It's bad, I know it is, you don't have to lie to me! But, a comment would be nice,..XD...
And If We Could Walk Away
If only we could walk away
We would be free
Brake from these boundaries
And be together at last
Seeming to be worlds apart
Even though we are so close
But, to have you here with me
We could try and make this work
I’m sorry for my demons
I forgive your past
We can make it, I swear it
Just give it a chance
And if we could walk away
Create our own world
It can be perfect
With you and I
I’ll support you no matter what
I’ll love you with all my heart
I’ll care for you with all my being
Till the end of my time and beyond
And if only we could just walk away
I’ll give you my hand
And promise to be yours
For the rest of our days
Just love me in return
Give me your heart
And give me your hand also
So we can walk away together
I’m sorry for my demons
I forgive your past
We can make it, I swear it
Just give it a chance
We’ll make it |
josh_oliday23
Geek
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 267 | March 10th, 2007 at 10:10pm I like it. I felt the central theme come out and grab me. It was put together very well and it flowed nicely. I did feel a little choppy in places and the lack of punctuation hurt it a little but besides that it was very good. |
Revenge;;
Geek
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 270
| March 10th, 2007 at 10:52pm Thank-you, I dunno about punctuations, I was told once not to put any,...oh well, thank-you again for the comment,...<3... |
Revenge;;
Geek
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 270
| March 11th, 2007 at 06:33pm Please comment? |
Nightmares.xx
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 14
 | March 17th, 2007 at 02:03am it was a tad choppy and using semi-colons, and comma's would help a bit, but it was great.
i could really relate to this part -->
[quote]I’m sorry for my demons
I forgive your past
We can make it, I swear it
Just give it a chance
We’ll make it [quote]
i dunno.. overall it was great.
good job *high five* |
Revenge;;
Geek
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 270
| March 19th, 2007 at 06:29pm XD, thank-you |
PONED
Geek
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 257 | March 19th, 2007 at 08:55pm I’m sorry for my demons
I forgive your past
We can make it, I swear it
Just give it a chance
We’ll make it
that stanza moved me. i loved it so much! i like how you put your feelings into it. (wow something i should do XD) anyway, awesome job!!!
*comment on my poems!!** |
Revenge;;
Geek
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 270
| March 19th, 2007 at 10:05pm Really? Thank-you..<3..I'll read your poems<3... |
