XxGiveMeNovacainexX
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 6 | April 5th, 2007 at 09:51pm Sudden surgery suppressed your surly surmise.
Stuck to swallow your suicidal suffering.
Sent to the Sweat Shop of your mind; swollen shut.
Swerve from superfluous emotion success.
Ignore the immense impression of fate impact.
Illuminate your imperfect illusions.
I intrude as you imprison illadvised.
Incapable of illegal impatience.
Nag until the nausea takes it's natal.
Neglect your need for narcotic, numbing needles.
Neutralize the nascent of nearby nervousness.
Number your noxious nurses among nightmares.
S.I.N
Anyone? |
Servatis A Maleficum
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: 104
Gender: Female
Posts: 48
 | April 5th, 2007 at 11:30pm Okay, wow.
Let me just say, that was the most impressive series of alliteration I've encountered from anywhere. Dr. Suess is dying to write stuff like that.
It does of course need some polishing, everyone needs improvement. My main concern is, to some, it may sound superficial. Alliteration is complex, but today, I've seen people narrow it down to a sugar coated nothing, but I'd like to see them pull it off.
"Sent to the Sweat Shop of your mind; swollen shut."
I really liked that line. A lot. |
