Souls Without Names

Okay I'm new at this but I'd like yall to read this!!!!!!!!!!!

_Souls Without Names____

The fires of Hell burn bright
In the middle of the night
Waiting for an angel to fall
No hope of salvation at all
A poor lost soul
Is swallowed up whole
Consumed in the flames
They are souls without names

The fires are ablaze
In this friendish maze
Consumed by guilt and shame
There is no one else to blame
The fires are aglow
As you sink so low
The Devil has cast his spell
You face eternity in hell

So, you managed to go into the hell topic without being too overly cliche.

But be careful, because people are bound to jump on you for it.

As you said, you're new to this. So, that said, this was amazing. With a bit of practice, you'll be flying in no time.

My suggestions to you- don't feel the impending urge to rhyme! Maybe it was your intention, and while you did preserve somewhat of a steady beat, you seemed slightly held back by the tetious job of having to end every phrase with a rhyme. Try not rhyming. I'm telling you, it works wonders.

"The fires are ablaze
In this friendish maze"

So, there's your imagery- now paint the damn picture! XD You need to let your audience know what that maze looks like, show us what it is. =]

Thanks for the help!!!!!!!!!! I'll definatly try that!!!!!!!!!!!!

I liked it.