Shared Cigerttes

Let's focus on the present
And talk about our past
Let's try to remember the day we met
And the stupid things we've said

I remember all the good times
When she wasn't in the picture
When it was just you, me, and a pack of cigarettes
And other things we shared

But the day we were suppose to meet
You said you met someone new
And at first I was happy
I was happy that you found someone

But as the days went by
And I found myself smoking alone
I grew angry
You've abandoned me for her

The cigarettes we shared aren't yours anymore
The secrets I want to tell
Are kept inside
All because of her

But what will happen
When she ends it?
Will you come to me?
Will you want to share these cigarettes again?

Tell me why you left me
And how you think I feel
Don't try and steal these cigarettes
'Cause I share them, not with you, but another

I definately remember reading this a while ago. And I could've sworn I commented on it, but oh well. I really liked the idea of lovers sharing cigarettes, but I think you could've written it a little better. There was something a little obvious about the whole thing, especially in lines like 'you've abandoned me for her'. I just personally thought that you could've improved areas like that with more poetic imagery, etc.

Hope that helps, sorry no one gave you much critique when you first posted it.

it was really good!

I was good. =]]]