A Smashed Robin's Egg

Hello, everyone! This is a poem I wrote a while ago, so let me know what you think. Please, please, please post constructive critisism and tell me what you absoulutely think. =D

-Ghostie. <333



A Smashed Robin's Egg


A smashed robin’s egg,
Blue shell laying in
Pieces on the ground
Like fragments of
Summer’s sky,
Embedded in yellow yolk,
Splattered on the
Russet soil.
A smashed robin’s egg,
Never to become
a beautiful bird,
And soar to the
Heavens with the
Wishes and wants
Of earthbound people.
A smashed robin’s egg,
Like the shards of
Fragmented affection,
Long forgotten by
Parted lovers.
A smashed robin’s egg,
Like the demolished dreams
Of a young fantasist,
Imagining the world in
Bright Technicolor thoughts
Of love and pacifism.
A smashed robin’s egg,
Like the shattered glass
Of a window of emotions,
Broken by deceit and recklessness.
A smashed robin’s egg,
Like the unknown future
That lies ahead,
Before the world…

wow stirring i really like the ending a lot!.. i could see it would lead to that at some point and i think its the best at the end it kinda sums up everything a smashed robins egg represent
and also represents our own lives when things go wrong in a sense never knowing what might have happened if we did something differently.

If you'd structured it differently, the repetition of smashed robin's egg would've been more obvious, and perhaps less effective. I think that perhaps you could've done without the elipses (...) at the end of the poem, but other than that I thought it was really good, the metaphor of the egg was awesome.

Aww...thanks! I'm glad to hear what you all think of it, honestly too. Thanks Tabby Delany for the constructive critisism, and thanks tyco for thinking of a deeper meaning. =3

thats awesome .i really like that , its great

Wow... I loved it!
The ending was amazing.
The imagery was extremely well put, too.
You have talent, m'dear.

i liked it. it was really good