I had a dream about you

I had a dream about you
you were looking kind of sad
but in the end you wound up
really really mad!
You were sitting in a chair
getting your shoulders rubbed
kind of ignoring
that bit of tender love
Your friend was in the hospital
looking for some fun
he had a computer handy
with the internet plugged
into the wall
asking for Haikus from all
I gave a simple message
I hope he found it nice
There was a message on
my answering machine
I couldnt get there fast
I wanted to scream
some jerk on the message
probably it was you
gave a simple message
that make me think F YOU!
I replied rather quickly
once I knew what I should do
and in the end I had written
yet another Haiku
Your friend said look at this
and that was all I saw
but really I can guess
that after it all
you were really really mad
not knowing what to do
but in the end you should know
that I really do love you.

aw!! i loved it!!!!!!!!

...It was sorta of plain, hun. Still good, but very plain.

Very cliche as well. Sometimes that can be a good thing, but for this one, not so much.

You need to use more metaphors, to create better imagery. It'll make it stick out more. Plus... dear, you have to improve on structure.

But it was okay. Keep trying.