ros;
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 32 | April 16th, 2007 at 10:05am The need for fellowship, companionship.
Upon this precipice
I
reach out with hope and want,
eyes shut and toes perilously close to the edge.
Contact is made.
Fused by the gazing of a single star,
we melt together in a pool of
shared experiences and mental illusions.
Dance this dance with me in our ignorant cocoon of
twin thoughts and one-way sentiments.
We're sheltered, shielded, blindfolded as we
hold hands and skip through this honey-hued hinterland.
When will this dream fail?
When will the ugly, gaudy colours of reality
paint us back into consciousness?
It's an eventuality we must face,
even as we cling to each other in an
enduring embrace,
human binds of security and escapism.
But for now, love, for now,
we'll touch our hands together softly
yet firmly, dancing ad infinitum in this hinter wonderland. |
PONED
Geek
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 257 | April 16th, 2007 at 08:38pm that was really good! i loved it |
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161 | April 17th, 2007 at 01:54pm I was sat thinking about how you isolated that single 'I' for a while, thinking about its significance and what it could represent. Which I love in a poem, the ability to keep me thinking. Should the last line have been 'winter' though?
I really loved it, and in the end I thought maybe the single 'I' could be to emphasise artificial angels, that they can't be genuine saviours because they're too egocentric. |
ros;
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 32 | April 17th, 2007 at 08:58pm Heartache to Sing, thanks =]
And Ellen, thanks for taking the time to actually think about it, your interpretation was astounding. Yes, I wanted to emphasise the selfishness of the personas and the single 'I' in that line was indeed meant for that purpose.
Oh, and yes, it IS supposed to be 'winter' xD. |
SugarGreen
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 3369 | April 18th, 2007 at 05:37pm I loved it!!! Especially:
ros;:Fused by the gazing of a single star,
we melt together in a pool of
shared experiences and mental illusions.
Dance this dance with me in our ignorant cocoon of
twin thoughts and one-way sentiments.
We're sheltered, shielded, blindfolded as we
hold hands and skip through this honey-hued hinterland.
When will this dream fail?
When will the ugly, gaudy colours of reality
paint us back into consciousness?
because it is so much of what being a twin flame with someone thousands of miles and lifetimes away from you is really like! |
ros;
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 32 | April 20th, 2007 at 10:39am =] thank you |
Ex.Of.A.Freak.-TCD
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 87
Gender: Female
Posts: 5844
 | April 20th, 2007 at 04:11pm That is absolutely beautiful.
All of your work is. I think you truly are becoming one of my most favoured poets.
Though, it could have used a little more imagery. But the wording and description was phenominal.
Excellent job, as always. |
