ros;
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 32 | April 18th, 2007 at 12:07pm A punch in the gut the epicenter of your world.
Your axis tilts at the realisation,
a potent concoction of euphoria and dread.
You could only watch the intoxicating effervescence from the
chemical reaction, your late night liaison with the
blade throbbing its existence.
How clear everything seemed, yet how complicated.
'Break free of your self-wound bonds';
a resident post-it on your mind.
You remind yourself to
have faith,
be true,
and stay strong.
But the circumstance aggravates the effort, rendering you
crippled,
hapless
and helpless. Because
eventually, your quest for your soul is fruitless and
ultimately, you're nothing but a shell of a person. |
SugarGreen
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 3369 | April 18th, 2007 at 05:33pm ros;:
'Break free of your self-wound bonds';
a resident post-it on your mind.
You remind yourself to
have faith,
be true,
and stay strong.
But the circumstance aggravates the effort, rendering you
crippled,
hapless
and helpless. Because
belongs in a song!
It's really good!!! |
PONED
Geek
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 257 | April 18th, 2007 at 08:30pm i loved it! great jobb |
ros;
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 32 | April 20th, 2007 at 11:10am thanks you two =D |
Ex.Of.A.Freak.-TCD
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 87
Gender: Female
Posts: 5844
 | April 20th, 2007 at 04:15pm I loved the last line. =]
As I said before, excellent wording, but the imagery needs to be shown more often.
I love all your work. I really do.
 You have a lot of talent, my love. And you've put it to good use. |
ros;
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 32 | April 21st, 2007 at 09:44am thanks. I'll look into the imagery aspect the next time i write =] |
Ex.Of.A.Freak.-TCD
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 87
Gender: Female
Posts: 5844
| April 21st, 2007 at 12:03pm ros;: thanks. I'll look into the imagery aspect the next time i write =] I hope you do. =] It really helps make a poem stand out. |
