Voices....

Let the light shine into your honey emerald eyes
come what may come what might
the war will end so will teh fight
Wargames will vanish
and so will violence
pwace keeping teachers will be taught
to break their silence
and the world will be one
in simple harmony
let your light shine in
let your spirit carry me!

We are arguing about something stupid
tearing up the world
burning it to the ground
ashes and cinders and body parts
are falling all around
we are being torn apart by cupid
the lands that we love
the people we think of
the pride that we share
our commitments to warfare
as one we are born
and in time divided by a form
Names and faces everywhere
too scared to stand
letting it hit the fan

I see your face
and I fall down
inside my mind
what has been done
to cause this thing
that happens
inside my mind
the years have passed
so swimmingly
until at last
they're ruined
I lost my chance
before I had it
to be by your side
my tears can not hide
I'm ruined
I see your face
and I fall down
inside my mind...

Here I knock
will you let me in
or will you leave the door shut
in my face
Here I knock
is it a sin
or am I a complete disgrace

I want you to know I am listening
to every word you have said
I want you to know I am glistening
from the tear trails down my cheeks
as I want to cry out
please give me a sign
that I am all right
I want you to know I am listening
to your every word
I want you to know I am glistening
from the tears running down my face
you're caused me much pain
but I love you the same

If I don't wake up
will you see me fall
into the abyss
of long ago
If I don't get up
will you see my shame
that I'm to blame
and you've jsut cause
to see me suffer
If I don't wake up
will it make you happy
would it be snappy
if I don't get up

sometimes
you have to fall hard
to see what love's really like
sometimes
you feel you're better off dead
but you realize
there's hope around the corner
and then
you wake up from your misery
you wake up from your dread
you wake up from the chaos
swirling around in your head
sometimes
you have to fall hard
to get back up
so don't give up

The time will come
when all will be right
but until then
we put up a fight
we fight for peace
we fight for love
what we don't fight for
is eachothers trust
the time will come
when all will be right
if we get around
to making it

I was only here to say I'm sorry
but that sorry is not enough
the knife was looking pretty good right then
but a phone call woke me
so I'm waking you my friend
There's someone who gets ignored
you don't have to keep walking alone

I used hope time has forgotten
now I'm no longer in the dark
I see you with your toes in the mud
a smile on your face as I speak
just give me a sign and I'll make you mine
you see
there's someone there who gets ignored
you don't have to keep walking alone

I want my death to be in your arms
and nowhere else my love
I want to hear the angels sing
in choirs up above
it may sound retarded but
I've loved you since long ago
The mental anguish we've both shared
over the years has shown
but in your arms my love
I will never grow old
I will never grow old

They are shooting you dead
with a gun to your head
and there is nothing that you can do
what are your thoughts
there are no surprises
you know that your life is through
but along comes a friend
who stands up in teh end
and fights for your life
in the face of strife
I bet you are glad
and the shooter is
probably mad
but at least you are alright

I believed in you
I really did
but you weren't real,
just an image
what have you become?
a grease monkey on drugs
the expensive liquor in your vein
it is shuch a shame
you know what they say?
"the higher you get,
the harder you fall"
so why did you do it all?
why couldn't you be simple
like you were long ago
why did you let yourself
become this shadow

I am such an idiot
but then I wanted to be
am I insane
or am I just plain crazy
I wanted to be ugly
it looks like I have won
the argument to be so
ahh such simple fun

Maybe they don't want a new government
maybe all that time and effort is spent
in a way that's un needed
leaving many deep seeded
feelings of angst on your doorstep

sometimes I do not want to be seen
feeling like there is not Democracy
the bruises have shown time and again
the sweet kiss of chaos spreading
everywhere within
show me a time when you were you
show me a time when you were you
but even then I am a fool
to believe it so we're through

Drops of blood pour down my cheeks
to the point I can hardly speak
I've been crying too long
to this bitter song
there is no point in trying to deny it

I no longer want to be an idiot
I don't want to be confused by the media
I am the daughter of war and peace
trying to get rid of a disease
on top of the world
or in a spacecraft
it doesn't matter
unless at last
I live free of this device
I live free of this device
can you read me?
to live is to LIVE
to die is to DIE
Breath equals LIFE
I'd rather see the sight
of a hail storm following a riot

I'm in a corner
it doesn't make me feel any warmer
blankets curled all around
listening to the sound
of your "dramatic" voice
thinking of how you feel
that I don't care
well I have news for you
you haven't got a clue
so shut up
so shut up
I turn the cd off
and I don't get myself off
you really truely are
making me depressed
with the voices in your head
I have my own to deal with

I am going to die
one way or another
I am not a good mom
I am not a good wife
Everything I do is wrong
why put up a fight
I don't know how to play
I denied god my voice
I don't blame god for being angry
I forgive him
I deserve punishment
I deserve my pain
I need to die for my sins
and I want to die for theirs
if god will let me.

I make mistakes and
I try to fix them when I
can do that because

I have hope that the
pain and suffering can be
lost and that only

happiness will shine
where it is needed the most

My soul will get destroyed after I die
I am going to bore you with the reasons as to why
I did something I should not have done
I shared a secret with someone
and I think too much about the word I....
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

These are the voices that pour inside my brain...
causing too much pain.

damn! very long!!!!!!!!
but also very very good!!!

Thank you

Some parts of it were good, but for the most part- the rhyme scheme feels a bit off... It doesn't really flow, and the rhymes feel forced and are cliche.

Also- you have a few typos. It would be good to go back through your poem and fix them

The opening line was really good, but once you got so far, it really started to fall apart. I really feel that it is just too long. Perhaps if you split up the poem into shorter poems, and revised them, it would be better. But of course you don't have to listen to me.

Keep writing!

amazing... *stares dumbstruck*... wow...i really liked that