Sexual Templates

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Anji
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Anji
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April 28th, 2007 at 11:34am
Beverly.:
Dr. Cuddy:
I don't know if this counts, but my dad is 2o years older than my mom. And I always loved him and a relationship between an older man and younger woman or vica verse was never strange for me. Maybe thats the reason why I tend to fancy older guys?

I see what you mean. My dad is 8 years older
than my mom and I very much perfer guys who are older than me.
I actually really can't stand younger guys.


lyrical_mess:
actually Dr. Cuddy (haha I feel like I'm talking to a doctor), the case of your parents makes sense. To me, anyway. It might be true for interracial relationships as well. Children born out of such relationships might be drawn to whichever race they don't look like. For example, if the father is Caucasian and the mother is Asian and the child looks very Asian, the child might be likely to be attracted to white people.

I know this kinda not the point but, My dad
is caucasian, my mom is 100% korean and I basically only like white guys or some other races.

But, I can't think of any specific childhood experiences that may influence
what I like or enjoy now. This is a very interesting topic though.

EDIT: I was reading some of the post before mine and you guys were
talking about bassists, and now that I think about it...As a child
I grew with a lot of music around me. And musicians. Mainly guitarists,
and I am more attracted to guitarists(not just famous people, i mean
like kids I know) and other types of musicians. Dno maybe I'm just not
making any sense. I know I aint making any sense to myself.
Yeah, if anyone on here still doesn't know, I'm part Thai, but I have never ever been attracted to Thai guys. My mother is Thai and I have to agree, Thai guys just don't do it for me. I prefer other races.
Anji
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Anji
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April 28th, 2007 at 11:37am
Dr. Cuddy:
lyrical_mess:
Actually, Beverly, that might be the point. And you might be onto something else. What if sexual templates are genetic? People say that women often look for men who are similar to their fathers. But what if that's not the case, and women actually really like the type that their mom liked? Geeeeness. Fizz
Hmmm... not in my case Think

My mom prefers blond guys. I don't. But my dad isn't blond at all, he has black-hair. Ok, he had black-hair, even when my mom et him he was gray. And me dad is a wonderful guy, but I could never be with anyone like him. Sometimes he can be really, really annoying. And he is a true Leo, proud and thinking he is the best. I couldn't handle that.
I'm a Leo, but I'm nothing like that. Shocked

I've gone out with many, many Scorpios in my life. My last two relationships, my longest two relationships, and probably my favourite two relationships as well were with Scorpios. I also have many Scorpio friends, and according to horroscopes, Scorpios and Leos are the best pairing. I wonder how Freud can explain that?
NeoSteph
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April 28th, 2007 at 12:56pm
lyrical_mess:
druscilla; in rags:
Well, I like BDSM.
Is that because I was spanked as a child?
-totally confused-
Because I didn't get off on my dad spanking me.



Actually, you probably did. I read an article on spanking (because I really don't have anything better to do) and there was all this stuff on how its detrimental to how a child thinks because even though getting slapped on the butt hurts like hell, the child will still feel some amount of pleasure because its so close to the genitals.

And often, due to this, sexual preferences towards spanking and S&M and BDSM develops.


good ole freud fucking us all up for life. it's the old you want to sleep with your mother and kill your father thing (other way round for women)
cabot gal
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April 28th, 2007 at 03:32pm
I thought of another one!

Right, so I've been scared of Vampires pretty much all my life, and I still kinda am now, even though I know they're not real. Anyway, I was just with my boyfriend and like, even if he just breathed on my neck I was getting quite turned on.

Do the two connect?
lyrical_mess
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April 28th, 2007 at 03:51pm
I don't know. I'm not a doctor!
Brendon Urie..
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April 28th, 2007 at 04:15pm
lyrical_mess:
I don't know. I'm not a doctor!

Yeah, we are kinda treating you the psychologist of this thread, aren't we?
lyrical_mess
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April 28th, 2007 at 10:59pm
druscilla; in rags:
lyrical_mess:
I don't know. I'm not a doctor!

Yeah, we are kinda treating you the psychologist of this thread, aren't we?


lyrical_psychologist tehe

I don't know if I'd help my patients or make their conditions worse.
PaNcAkEs
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April 29th, 2007 at 02:21am
i thought the same as kurtni when i first saw it XD lmfao lmfao lmfao. But i guess i agree with you, but i suppose i have a fondness for irish people XD. When i was little i was around them alot, i like them. But its pretty interesting, really
Kurtni
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April 29th, 2007 at 02:24am
Mud-Cotton Lace:
i thought the same as kurtni when i first saw it XD lmfao lmfao lmfao. But i guess i agree with you, but i suppose i have a fondness for irish people XD. When i was little i was around them alot, i like them. But its pretty interesting, really

Great minds think alike Coffee And it is really neat to think about the impact your childhood has on the rest of your life. I think that this could also work in the opposite way as well, things you don't find attractive or desireable may be influenced by your childhood as well.
Franny.
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April 29th, 2007 at 02:36am
NeoSteph:

good ole freud fucking us all up for life. it's the old you want to sleep with your mother and kill your father thing (other way round for women)


ah the oedipus complex. i totally don't believe it haha.

but the sexual template is interesting. i have a thing for scottish people but i don't think i've ever had any experiences with them at age 3 or 4 [i lived in hong kong at the time]. maybe it's because i've never had an experience with them that i'm curiously interested? i dunno haha.
lyrical_mess
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April 29th, 2007 at 03:20am
Freud is very bullshit-ish. A lot of what he said is stupid when you think about it. If you sit down and think about it, how many girls on here are jealous of their mother for getting such a great catch?

I sure ain't. My dad's cheesy and his hair's getting white. But I think Kurtni's right. What we don't like is probably influenced by our child hood. For example, the whole fuck-daddy thing. People have been saying that whatever their parents and they are is unattractive to them.

I find that the things my dad is are unattractive to me. Except for the fact that he's supersmart and helps me with my homework. But I like that quality in most people I hang out with.

His brand of humor is dumb. He's all math-oriented. Academics-oriented. He has a stupid mustache. He shaved it off and looks weird now. His beard is scratchy. He's short and stocky and has a slight hunch from bending over to read.

I think I find the beard thing significant for myself. When I was little, he'd hug me and his beard would scratch against my face. It kind of hurt. Now, I know that I want to be with someone with a smooth face. I mean, Billie Joe looks completely adorable when he has a beard and scruff. But I wouldn't want it against my face.

But the more I think about, I remember that feeling as something that comforted me. It's my hypothetical blue eyes. This requires thinking. Lets see...even though my face felt scratched, I did like being hugged by my dad. Me and my dad are pretty close still. I think that to me, a certain "beardness" means protection or comfort or just happiness or playfulness or something.

So yes. I think a guy with a slightly rough face is part of my own sexual template. And so are tiny guys. You know, kind of little. With a certain type of face. Its kind of pointy-ish, but not exactly. *confuses self and trails off*

Right. I wouldn't want my dad, but his beard influenced my own preferences.
Anji
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April 29th, 2007 at 03:21am
Franny.:
NeoSteph:

good ole freud fucking us all up for life. it's the old you want to sleep with your mother and kill your father thing (other way round for women)


ah the oedipus complex. i totally don't believe it haha.
The development of the superego? I think it is correct just it appears in different amounts in people. Repessed children, who were treated to harshly during their childhood with a censored superego grow up to have pissy personalities.

Potty training is the best example because the relief of our systems during that age would've brought us comfort. Children who were treated harshly during potty training, told that relieving themselves whenever was very bad and punished them for it, grow up with no sense of relief. They bottle up their desires. When they grow older, their repressed superego denies the id and the opportunity to satisfy your desire.

This creates a disfunctional sort of person, filled with anger, anxiety, frusteration, and general moodiness. A pissy attitude. They find subsitutes for their gratification, be it sexual or non sexual. Instead of killing you dad, you wrestle him or beat him in sports. Instead of screwing your mum, you marry someone who looks similar or just has a similar personality.Instead of murdering your classmates, you play video games. I think he was right, but this doesn't exist in everyone to the extent in which he described it, maybe only in minute amounts.

These acts of seemily unatural behavior do show through sometimes often as the result of a person becoming totally neurotic due to the stress of the repression of society on themselves and possibly their treatement during childhood learning simple tasks like when to pee when you should do, and not to when you can't. These uptight people find no way to sublimate their desires and so carry them forth in real life. These people cannot fight the amount of imposed ideas of cultue and community.

These renounced desires are often just brushed under the carpet of your subconcious. They wait for opportunity to relieve themselves, just like the child learning how to potty train. So when people get drunk, the stumbling and unbalanced mannerism is just a physical result of the alcohol. The effect on our conscious is a behaviour in a completely antisocial manner. Society doesn't transform people, it just hides the human nature and control otherwise natural impulses.

Horses have been proven in studies to choose mates that look similar to their parents. They do not live in a society like ours which sees taboo in defecation, sex, blasphemy, etc. Since we do, we cannot examine these feelings in ourselves sometimes because they are just hidden in our subconscious, which we still don't even know exists.
PaNcAkEs
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May 2nd, 2007 at 01:38am
Kurtni:
Mud-Cotton Lace:
i thought the same as kurtni when i first saw it XD lmfao lmfao lmfao. But i guess i agree with you, but i suppose i have a fondness for irish people XD. When i was little i was around them alot, i like them. But its pretty interesting, really

Great minds think alike Coffee And it is really neat to think about the impact your childhood has on the rest of your life. I think that this could also work in the opposite way as well, things you don't find attractive or desireable may be influenced by your childhood as well.

True, true. Cool
Plug In Baby.
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May 2nd, 2007 at 05:38am
Boobmeister:
I thought of another one!

Right, so I've been scared of Vampires pretty much all my life, and I still kinda am now, even though I know they're not real. Anyway, I was just with my boyfriend and like, even if he just breathed on my neck I was getting quite turned on.

Do the two connect?


I think that's pretty much normal though, like it happens to most people? Maybe it just means you're really attracted to your boyfriend xD
PaNcAkEs
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May 7th, 2007 at 08:11am
speaking of Freud...i remember reading somewhere that he treated morphine addicts with cocaine... i told my friend and he asked me weather he then treated the now cocaine addicts with heroin XD.

But xept for the irish thing...i dont really know from where i like what i like...this real weird.
Tahm York
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October 2nd, 2007 at 03:37am
my therapist told me that younger boys (my age or younger) are confused as to what turns them on, so if they ever look at porn, it usually varies.

Because Idk how a mid 30's or 40 yr. old man having sex w/ a 15 year old girl could be a turn on. that's just disturbing. O_O
worn-out astronaut.
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October 2nd, 2007 at 03:48pm
ignorance is bliss.:

Because Idk how a mid 30's or 40 yr. old man having sex w/ a 15 year old girl could be a turn on. that's just disturbing. O_O
Coolio
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October 2nd, 2007 at 04:24pm
I'm with Ivana. tehe


Lick
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October 2nd, 2007 at 07:02pm
I generally only fancy quite effeminate (is that how you spell it...? I mean feminine) men.
I can't think why that would be though..
Tahm York
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October 2nd, 2007 at 07:20pm
Electric Buttsecks!:
ignorance is bliss.:

Because Idk how a mid 30's or 40 yr. old man having sex w/ a 15 year old girl could be a turn on. that's just disturbing. O_O
Coolio
OMFG do you? I was sorta talking about like, watching it on a video, not it actually happening. Just like, watching it as a form of porn. Just some random young girl and older guy, that's consentual rape, and I just find it wrong...
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