*they_call_me Ri*
Geek
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 177 | May 10th, 2007 at 06:09pm Everyone seem so uptight
It's a F'in war learn to fight.
The mindless children you feed,
Are the murderers; thats all we need.
More hate and more violence
Where are the riots that have fallen into silence?
Grow some balls
Shout the protest through your streets, through your halls.
They'll pish you donw and out no one will listen.
Believe me man on the white house they'll be pissin'.
End the war or send more to die.
Die for the government; learn young the battle cry!
Now this is not to go against our troops
Who dodge bullets, trained to jump through hoops.
The war men, the heros
Sad to say they're welcomed back as zeros.
It's not their fault so who should we blame?
Blame yourself! Head hung in shame.
You choose not to vote and put this country on its back.
F' everything were the disease, low lying heart attack.
i wrote this song after being told i had no opion and i should keep my nose out of our countries business. well here u go. Have fun =]
-Ri (hasnt been here for a while) |
PONED
Geek
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 257 | May 11th, 2007 at 07:24pm Okay. I have to say it was very good.
But I think you tried to force the rhyming somehow.
The rhythym was just a little off.
At First it was very good and it flowed, but towards the middle, it kinda got a little choppy.
Overall it was very good and sent a pretty good message.
Good Job and please keep writing! |
Sherlock Holmes
Addict
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 10375 | May 12th, 2007 at 02:04pm I don't like obv rhyming...Sorry... |
