miau
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 4469 | September 7th, 2007 at 12:10pm For Sarah & Victoire.
Oh! How jealous is the Cheshire Cat
Because I grin even wider whenever I think of you.
If my mouth can really reach my ears?
I'm probably bound to doubt that, but I sure try.
I spent hours and hours drawing pictures
Of ourselves in ten of fifteen years.
They were drawn to show I won't ever forget you
But they weren't half as good as what you deserve.
Today I went out to pick you some flowers
But all I could find were some nettles.
I although plucked them because I certainly knew,
Just thinking of you will turn them into lily and orchids.
Being the dreamer I am,
I often broke my bones by falling back into reality.
But your friendship is a like a parachute,
Bringing me to earth safely, like the soft flight of a feather
Being taken away by the wind.
I searched in my mind for the most beautiful words
And put them together to please your ears and hearts.
But while doing so, I realised they don't even half describe
Just how glad I am to have friends like you! |
tonlistir
Geek
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 381 | September 9th, 2007 at 11:09pm |
tonlistir
Geek
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 381 | September 9th, 2007 at 11:11pm Cora, ich muss dir was sagen: DU bist eines der ALLERBESTEN Dinge DIESER WELT und sicher die ALLERBESTE FREUNDIN!
I love you. |
tonlistir
Geek
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 381 | September 9th, 2007 at 11:12pm Du solltest ein Buch machen  ich find deine Gedichte total gut btw.
Und nein, ich kann kein Englisch. |
miau
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 4469 | September 10th, 2007 at 07:02pm lolol ily. |
newagecarny
Was Here Two Weeks Ago
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 42495
 | September 12th, 2007 at 10:38pm That's gorgeous, because you can actually feel how genuine it is. So I'll cut down on critique, because when it comes to poetry, showing what you really feel is what matters the most.
However;
Being the dreamer I am,
I often broke my bones by falling back into reality.
But your friendship is a like a parachute,
Bringing me to earth safely, like the soft flight of a feather
Being taken away by the wind.
The flow isn't really good there, but I generally like the word choice and everything else.
The rest of the poem is also well written. You have a lot of potential. |
miau
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 4469 | September 13th, 2007 at 04:58pm Yes, I noticed that too...but I didn't know how to change and I didn't want to change either.
Thank you. |
