Ipukeglamour
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 25 | September 29th, 2007 at 05:17pm The ashes surround our lungs, leaving dark stains that imbrue our perfection. May I have this dance as the cinders fall? Down, down from the heavens where the angels cry darkness. Drenched. Where the imperfection pours out from every orafice into the dark corners of the world, far from our eyes. Flash.
The stars fall from the sky - surrounded by cinders that fall on your lips.
You eat the ashes, savoring the taste of sorrow.
You cry blood, but your face is not cracked.
Lungs that are imbrued with inperfection.
You breathe, but do not need air to live.
You drink, but your thirst is never quenched.
The die - but are reancarnated.
You look, but will never see.
Charlotte Devine. (c) |
Revenge;;
Geek
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 270
 | October 10th, 2007 at 01:19am That's really good.
I like the words you used to tie it all up together.
=] |
SugarGreen
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: -
Gender: Female
Posts: 3369 | October 10th, 2007 at 12:44pm There are some spelling mistakes.
I would break the first lines down into smaller parts.
Otherwise it is well put together. |
