Splatters of paint

I break my heart early
so to see you lie
next to me with dispassion
not caring if I die
doesn't bother me as much
as it used to anymore
I am no longer becoming
that girl with knees upon the floor
praying that a saint
or God will pull me through
memories of paint
remind me of me with you

The tears that do not fall
turn into ash
that sticks to my eyes
leaving them dry
a mask that I am happy
when I have great remorse
that I truly am dead inside
I can no longer hide
in my bathroom
waiting for the passing
of certain doom
memories of paint
remind me of me with you

As the time bursts by
shattering my bubble
I begin to cry
the agony and despair
have gone by without a care
and I am left without humor
I wear my mask
when I'm not alone
afraid to even
pick up a phone
or write my poetry anywhere
for the horror that you
might be there
Splatters of paint
remind me of me with you.