Fragments of Truth.

AuthorMessage
Ol' Blue Eyes.
King For A Couple Of Days
Ol' Blue Eyes.
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 4816

Mibba
October 9th, 2007 at 04:45am
I've had butterflies in my stomach since that night you held me close, pressing your hips to mine, holding me as if you'd never let go, as if you were afraid that if your hands left mine that the tide would rip me away and I'd drown in this sea of separation and loneliness.

I don't think that you know I was born with gills, that I've breathed loneliness and need and want for years, and that I'm holding my breath every moment I'm with you.

Maybe you don't realize that I've been drowning in you ever since that first night when you smiled at me in the darkness, and our hearts clicked together like magnets, maybe you don't understand how far out of my element I am.

Since forever, I've lived my life within strict confines. My heart rarely left my chest. You refuse all my rules, pull my heart away from me and force me to want you.

And I know that you don't care half as much for me as I do for you, as I watch your fingers dance over ivory piano keys, wooing me with love songs, written for other girls. It's somehow ironic that every tender word you've ever said to me belongs to someone else.

Do you hear my body? It's screaming for you. It keeps me awake for nights at time, burning and rioting, wanting your hands on it. Clever of you, seducing every part of me, barely leaving my mind intact.

Your heart is going to rip mine apart, tear it to shreds and then offer it back again, claiming innocence and ignorance and smiling that smile that drives all thoughts from my head except for the fact that I want those lips on mine. It's driving me insane, wanting you, and I'm losing the battle against reality, living for those moments when the world tilts off its axis and I'm in your arms again.

My gills have sealed up, and ducking beneath the waves is painful for the first time in years. I need you to breathe, to live. This we both know, but only one of us cares.

Everything between us is unspoken, a story with no words. It's silent film, black and white, with a thousand shades of gray that baffle the senses. We flicker like candles, dancing within inches of each other. Our skins touch, our lips brush, and we move away again, eyes locked, to circle like the satellites in your songs.

What would I be without you?, you ask? Oh god, you'd be better off, as would I. Every motion we make spells out tragedy beyond either of our comprehensions, but we ignore it stubbornly as we cling together in the riptide, breathing through each other's skins.

I think the most truthful words we've ever spoken linger between the strings of my guitar, that day when it was too hot to think and we fell together like a dream, moved together for the first and last time, and I finally understood what Springsteen sings about. You rearranged my atoms, then pressed your lips to mine, trying to push air into my immobile lungs. My eyes stayed closed, afraid to see the desperation in your face.

I've taken up smoking, just for something to do with my hands, to distract them. Lately they've been begging to dance through your hair, to lock onto your fingers. Curling them around a cigarette is the only way to keep them still.

The only time I feel safe is in your passenger seat, your hand on my knee, your laughter draped like a blanket around my shoulders, a wreath of kisses on my cheeks. We could drive forever and need nothing else. You are the air I breathe, and sometimes you pretend that I'm your's. We could pretend forever, and it would go on forever until we both vanished into the lyrics of the songs you play over and over again on your battered radio.

I'd go wherever you asked, and I think you'd never admit that you'd hold my hand and let me lead you wherever I went, that you'd follow me into the jungle of the city where I'd glean knowledge from dusty books in an overpriced school while you roamed the streets and waited for the moment when our bodies could sing together again.

You could come back when you want, you know that I'd be here. Maybe I should tell you that, instead of just whispering it into the windowpane as I watch you depart through the fog. I feel my heart stretching, breaking as you leave.

Do you know you're the only person I count on? You take care of me, in ways that no one else ever has. My guardian angel, only you're anything but angelic as you blow smoke rings into the night air. There's nothing pure about the suggestions you make, or about the things that I've been wanting, so there's no point in denying it.

I've been balanced on the edge of this rooftop, looking down for months and months. I can't even see if you're still waiting to catch me. But somehow I drag air into my battered lungs, listen to my feeble heart pound blood into my ears, and I take that first step, then the only sound is his harmonica and tender screams, and wishes whistling past, mingling with my fears as I hope to whatever god I believe in that he's waiting to catch me.
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Peter Petrelli
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161
October 25th, 2007 at 09:10pm
Now, I know just how damn talented you are, so I'm interested to know why you decided not to implement any structure or anything. I only say this because it makes reading it very monotonous, and I wish it wouldn't, because the content is gorgeous beyond belief. The only criticism I really have is that some of your sentences are a little long, and maybe need to be broken up, or separated with punctuation.

I thought maybe it was the length. I thought maybe instead of labelling it as poetry, you could do something interesting with it and use it as prose, in the form of a letter. It was just an idea, because I've tried writing poetry in letter form and it feels really different, as if you were painting with words rather than writing.

'I've taken up smoking, just for something to do with my hands, to distract them. Lately they've been begging to dance through your hair, to lock onto your fingers. Curling them around a cigarette is the only way to keep them still.'
^Those lines were particularly beautiful, and I loved how it linked with so many other images throughout. That was something else I really liked, how you had so many different themes running through it.
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