Love in perform

Board index - Your poetry
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worn-out astronaut.
Had A Life Before GSB
worn-out astronaut.
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 28177

Mibba Blog
October 24th, 2007 at 12:03pm
Ecliptic kisses on my lips,
A rush of blood through the core –
They send electric signals to my fingertips
And I loudly please for more

Your hair, it softly brushes my skin
As my neck twirls up,
All my senses are dim
But I didn't have enough

The sun rises up,
Yet your hand still smooths my thigh
And all of my pleasures furnish a cry

My eyes stare at the ceiling,
My hand in your hand; warm
Now let there be the Love in perform





Coolio
jegharintetnavn
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
jegharintetnavn
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 1
October 24th, 2007 at 04:45pm
Like it (:
newagecarny
Was Here Two Weeks Ago
newagecarny
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 42495

Mibba
October 31st, 2007 at 01:51pm
The first stanza was good, and so was the ending

And all of my pleasures furnish a cry
I wasn't really feeling that line. Maybe replace "furnish" with something else?
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