You'll probably think this sucks. ={ but..

AuthorMessage
greendaypunksliveforever
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
greendaypunksliveforever
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Posts: 58
May 7th, 2006 at 10:44am
I have the same problem with forced rhyming. I liked this one I guess though, good! Keep writing!
greendaypunksliveforever
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
greendaypunksliveforever
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Posts: 58
May 7th, 2006 at 10:47am
your welcome!
greendaypunksliveforever
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
greendaypunksliveforever
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 58
May 7th, 2006 at 10:51am
I love your avie too! Hmmm I have writers block, I'm not sure what my next poem should be agout. I posted one I wrote today about my cousin's death.
greendaypunksliveforever
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
greendaypunksliveforever
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Posts: 58
May 7th, 2006 at 10:59am
-smiles- thank you and I love that part too. I'm thinking of changing my avie, I'm not sure yet.
newagecarny
Was Here Two Weeks Ago
newagecarny
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 42495

Mibba
May 7th, 2006 at 11:53am
I like it. -nods-
Babi Kid Rachy
King For A Couple Of Days
Babi Kid Rachy
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 4512
May 8th, 2006 at 01:54pm
A pretty good try. Wink
Santa Billie
Falling In Love With The Board
Santa Billie
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 8285
May 8th, 2006 at 02:06pm
Um...there wasn't much flow and I didn't even notice a rhyme scheme.

I think you should try NOT to rhyme.

Most great poets of this era don't rhyme, and the ones that do almost
always fail at writing a decent poem.

If you feel comfortable with rhyming, then do that, but try not to rhyme for once.

I think it could make you feel more free Very Happy
newagecarny
Was Here Two Weeks Ago
newagecarny
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 42495

Mibba
May 8th, 2006 at 02:25pm
Teh Coolest Mohican....:
:O seriously Ella? Wow...it must be good.

=]
Ex.Of.A.Freak.-TCD
Falling In Love With The Board
Ex.Of.A.Freak.-TCD
Age: 86
Gender: Female
Posts: 5844

Blog
May 13th, 2006 at 06:38am
This is the song, these are my words
Scribbled down, not thought about
Releasing pain, churning it to lyrics
Let down, let in without a single doubt


Smile It's beautiful, hun. You keep working on it, and it'll be awesome.
It Had to Be You.
King For A Couple Of Days
It Had to Be You.
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 3593
May 13th, 2006 at 09:12am
This is the song, these are my words
Unmeaningful lyrics, fucked up in every way
Singing it, making it feel wanted within
This is where the words I wrote lay


Hun, this is great! <3

The only thing I never find I like in poetry are swears. It kind of ruins the emotion of the stanzas. But you still pulled it off. Keep writing!

Very Happy
It Had to Be You.
King For A Couple Of Days
It Had to Be You.
Age: -
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Posts: 3593
May 13th, 2006 at 09:20am
^You're welcome! For that poem, you deserve all the praise you can get. <3
It Had to Be You.
King For A Couple Of Days
It Had to Be You.
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 3593
May 13th, 2006 at 09:23am
Teh Coolest Mohican....:
I love you. so much LOL!
Laughing I love you too. Kiss
It Had to Be You.
King For A Couple Of Days
It Had to Be You.
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 3593
May 13th, 2006 at 09:25am
Teh Coolest Mohican....:
Panagiotakos.<3:
Teh Coolest Mohican....:
I love you. so much LOL!
Laughing I love you too. Kiss


I've never had good feedback on a poem. and by the way, I love you even more than you love me. Cool Cool
Never? Wow. XD

And pfft your face. I love you infinity +1
Ex.Of.A.Freak.-TCD
Falling In Love With The Board
Ex.Of.A.Freak.-TCD
Age: 86
Gender: Female
Posts: 5844

Blog
May 13th, 2006 at 09:25am
Teh Coolest Mohican....:
Tre Cool's Daughter:
This is the song, these are my words
Scribbled down, not thought about
Releasing pain, churning it to lyrics
Let down, let in without a single doubt


Smile It's beautiful, hun. You keep working on it, and it'll be awesome.



wow....thanks for all the great feedback!


No problem. =]

I enjoyed reading this. I hope you write more.
It Had to Be You.
King For A Couple Of Days
It Had to Be You.
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 3593
May 13th, 2006 at 09:29am
Teh Coolest Mohican....:
Panagiotakos.<3:
Teh Coolest Mohican....:
Panagiotakos.<3:
Teh Coolest Mohican....:
I love you. so much LOL!
Laughing I love you too. Kiss


I've never had good feedback on a poem. and by the way, I love you even more than you love me. Cool Cool
Never? Wow. XD

And pfft your face. I love you infinity +1


Never. Because its normally so crap.

meh. I love you....more than infinity +1. HA....I love you infinity +2.

so pfft in your face Razz
lmfao Pfft your mom.


[//spamming]
xD
It Had to Be You.
King For A Couple Of Days
It Had to Be You.
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 3593
May 13th, 2006 at 09:31am
Cool I already do. Damn straight.
It Had to Be You.
King For A Couple Of Days
It Had to Be You.
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 3593
May 13th, 2006 at 09:33am
Teh Coolest Mohican....:
Panagiotakos.<3:
Cool I already do. Damn straight.


Laugh.My.ASS.off. xDDDD
I'm adding you to my friends list. Is that okay?
It Had to Be You.
King For A Couple Of Days
It Had to Be You.
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 3593
May 13th, 2006 at 09:35am
Teh Coolest Mohican....:
Panagiotakos.<3:
Teh Coolest Mohican....:
Panagiotakos.<3:
Cool I already do. Damn straight.


Laugh.My.ASS.off. xDDDD
I'm adding you to my friends list. Is that okay?


thats fine. Add me on msn if you have it. Cool

*adds you to friends list*
Dance Sex I don't have MSN. xD

I have yahoo. -is added- Cool
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