The Doctor
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 8786
  | May 19th, 2006 at 10:00pm blah... more venting.... any rhyming is meerly co-incidental
Trapped in my own lost empathy
I know nothing of your pains
Wrapped in a blanket of self security
I feel oblivious to the reality
The harsh sunlight is filtered
Through my self made dusty haze
And all around me is a false glow
Of loving chastity
I hold myself tighter and I can taste
My own vile tainted breath
Contaminated by the senses
And complimented by my ignorance
Sweet loving sunshine is ripped to shreds
Leaving a bitter lump of uncertainity
This lump dwells at the back of my throat
And refuses to budge
Hollow promises and half hearted relief
Lulls me into a false sense of hope
Now I realise, I realise it far too late
That my attempts to keep the facade going
Were just facile |
Misanthropist
Post Whore
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 23279 | May 19th, 2006 at 10:49pm Hollow promises and half hearted relief That was my favourite bit.
Hmmm. It was pretty good. It needs a bit of work when it comes to format...and there is something I can't put my finger on...
Anyway, it was good. It just needs some TLC and it will get better.
 |
Addison Montgomery.
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 7078
| May 20th, 2006 at 07:43am It was alright but a bit wierd in certain places.=) |
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451
| May 20th, 2006 at 09:33am I like your writing style. Sure this could need some work but it’s still great. |
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161 | May 20th, 2006 at 09:36am What's in a name?:I like your writing style. Sure this could need some work but it’s still great.
Couldn't agree more. Just what I wanted to say. |
11th Street Kid
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 3645 | May 20th, 2006 at 12:36pm It's really good. |
