darkelf1822
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 465 | May 24th, 2006 at 05:43pm my bf wrote this about me and read it to his english class, and later read it to me. so its not really my poem, but i love love love it.
First I saw your gorgeous eyes, and they gave me butterflies.
Second I saw your beautiful face, that thought I cannot erase.
Third I saw your amazing smile, and that made me think awhile:
What happened if you and me, could become a you and me?
Then i realized you love me, and your eyes became more than something I see:
They became my Everything.
comments? he wanted ppl to read it for criticism and stuff, like ways he could make the rhyming fit a little better... |
Dead End Girl
Addict
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 10219 | May 24th, 2006 at 07:08pm It sounds forced.
It also has been done...
A BILLION times.
'You are my Everything'
Is one of the most cliche lines...
So cha'.
Me no likey. |
What's in a name?
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2451
 | May 25th, 2006 at 06:32am Annie Victim:It sounds forced.
It also has been done...
A BILLION times.
'You are my Everything'
Is one of the most cliche lines...
So cha'.
Me no likey.
It's sincere though and that's sweet. |
rollerpig
GSBitch
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 62283 | May 25th, 2006 at 06:56am That's sweet! 
But from the poem side .. the rhyme was forced and nothing new at all .. |
