| Author | Message |
|---|
razzledgirl
Jackass
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 1491
 | May 24th, 2006 at 06:07pm Scream and shout,
no-one can hear you...
they don't care,
your worthless to them.
Take away your life,
for there curse,
breath air thick...
So that they can live,
Fall in love with one's kiss,
say goodbye,
but still you are...
worthless. |
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 2921
| May 24th, 2006 at 06:44pm Scream and shout,
no one can hear you...
they don't care,
you're worthless to them.
Take away your life,
for their curse,
breath air thick...
So that they can live,
Fall in love with one's kiss,
say goodbye,
but still you are...
worthless.
^^ Fixed a few grammar mistakes. I really like that. Short but sweet. |
razzledgirl
Jackass
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 1491
| May 25th, 2006 at 01:39am [Flawless Error]:Scream and shout,
no one can hear you...
they don't care,
you're worthless to them.
Take away your life,
for their curse,
breath air thick...
So that they can live,
Fall in love with one's kiss,
say goodbye,
but still you are...
worthless.
^^ Fixed a few grammar mistakes. I really like that. Short but sweet.
thanks..i just wrote them down randomly, i wrote like 8 of these...my grammer sucks, ive always been critisized for that(sp). |
Sylar
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 5703 | May 25th, 2006 at 01:52am I love the idea, but I'm not sure it works in a poem either which is odd 
But yeah, melikey  |
razzledgirl
Jackass
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 1491
| May 25th, 2006 at 01:55am Mikko Lindstrom:I love the idea, but I'm not sure it works in a poem either which is odd
But yeah, melikey
i know....its about my favorite anime Fruits Basket...akito sohma in particular(sp)...the evil one.. |
razzledgirl
Jackass
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 1491
| May 25th, 2006 at 11:29pm razzledgirl:Mikko Lindstrom:I love the idea, but I'm not sure it works in a poem either which is odd
But yeah, melikey
i know....its about my favorite anime Fruits Basket...akito sohma in particular(sp)...the evil one..
basically the GOD of the zodiac.. |
Baguelle
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 2727 | May 25th, 2006 at 11:40pm It's just kind of...blah. I don't have much to say.
There were a few lines in there that I liked, though. |
spill_no_sick
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 31
Gender: -
Posts: 8588 | May 26th, 2006 at 11:41am this works better than most emo poems (yes I just called it emo) because this one is so universal and TRUE!!!!
most emo poems are a bunch of kids saying "I cut my self and tried to kill myself". This poem is so true to what every preteen and teen has felt.
short, but true
85/100 |
razzledgirl
Jackass
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 1491
| May 26th, 2006 at 05:13pm spill_no_sick:this works better than most emo poems (yes I just called it emo) because this one is so universal and TRUE!!!!
most emo poems are a bunch of kids saying "I cut my self and tried to kill myself". This poem is so true to what every preteen and teen has felt.
short, but true
85/100
thanx, i wrote it about Kyo, And Akito sohma...i just had watched Fruits Basket, before so i wanted to write it... |
