Inari King For A Couple Of Days Age: 37 Gender: Female Posts: 2538
May 25th, 2006 at 03:49pm
Wow. It's been a while since I last posted. Blame the lack of poetic inspiration.
Luckily, flicking through a newspaper today, I caught an article that inspired me. Apparantly, they're going to be opening a sex museum in London. It didn't even mention anything about debates over AIDs or anything. All about teaching you how to be a better lover. What next?
Chastity under scrutiny in glass cases. Dignity with an exhibition tag.
Sexual agendas as textbooks in auditoriums and prostitutes as lecturers.
This isn't secondary degree porn. Just a redefined meaning of "bare truths".
And this is the level that we swooped to; where sexual preference
shares the same dominance as education. Museums of orgasmic quality.
And we're selling ourselves for free in this voyeuristic interest.
Chlamydia gift shop merchandise and the price is your health.
Blacket market sales of what no one can afford but everyone wants.
Unrequited passion. Unstopped desire. All vial encased forms.
Pandora's box has never seemed so enticing than when it's bound in red ribbon.
But the poison beneath the pulse is the smile on the mannequin's face.
We'll analyse, socialise for an education with a tombstone degree,
take our prize and our memories as a consolation prize.
And claim in exaggerated tones that knowledge is power for the illiterate.
Then maybe one day we'll be placed on a shelf for scrutiny ourselves.
Complete with our own name-tag pride and our bound lecture to learn.
And our eyes are so focussed on the star-crested future we never
notice the tag that they've tacked slanting beneath our knees: Twenty-first century citizens, born and recieved.
Lust-dipped pawns in heat. Easily deceived.
What's in a name? King For A Couple Of Days Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 2451
May 25th, 2006 at 04:05pm
Inari:
We'll analyse, socialise for an education with a tombstone degree. Take our prize and our memories as a consolation prize.
^
I really like it. Maybe I'm just tired, but it the sentences feels slightly disjointed.
Kinda like they don’t fit perfectly together.
Well, I’m just weird…
Inari King For A Couple Of Days Age: 37 Gender: Female Posts: 2538
May 25th, 2006 at 04:06pm
It might be my writing style.
People have been complaining about my disjointed sentences recently.
B.J Falling In Love With The Board Age: - Gender: Male Posts: 8105
May 25th, 2006 at 04:15pm
I like it
the flow is strange
but its the content that matters
and the content is great
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda King For A Couple Of Days Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 2921
May 25th, 2006 at 05:48pm
=O Inarrriiiii. I love you.
newagecarny Was Here Two Weeks Ago Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 42495
May 25th, 2006 at 06:42pm
I really really enjoy your poetry and you know it, but you're using so much big words, if you know what I mean, and sometimes it tends to look like you tried too hard.
Just being honest, sweetheart.
Sara. This Board Is My Home Age: - Gender: - Posts: 31155
May 25th, 2006 at 06:44pm
Ella:
I really really enjoy your poetry and you know it, but you're using so much big words, if you know what I mean, and sometimes it tends to look like you tried too hard.
Just being honest, sweetheart.
What's in a name? King For A Couple Of Days Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 2451
May 26th, 2006 at 05:10am
Ella:
I really really enjoy your poetry and you know it, but you're using so much big words, if you know what I mean, and sometimes it tends to look like you tried too hard.
spill_no_sick Falling In Love With The Board Age: 31 Gender: - Posts: 8588
May 26th, 2006 at 11:17am
For some odd reason I enjoyed reading it.....it sounded a lot like a Rage Against the Machines freestyle
but I've learned to accept that this poetry forum doesn't hold true to developing poetry
so yeah, I won't really reveiw this because I don't want to piss you off
but it was enjoyable to read, it was more like an angry rant than a poem
I really really enjoy your poetry and you know it, but you're using so much big words, if you know what I mean, and sometimes it tends to look like you tried too hard.
Just being honest, sweetheart.
Yeah, you don't need a Thesaurus for every word, your a good enough poet without the aid of that. It makes the sentences Choppy, and wreckes the flow.
snowcherry King For A Couple Of Days Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 3912
^
