Um, I don't know what to call it...

AuthorMessage
Sylar
Falling In Love With The Board
Sylar
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 5703
May 29th, 2006 at 06:58am
It's not finished, I just want to know if it's even good enough to continue on with. So yeah, if you like it say so, if you don't- please give me tips where to go with the ending Very Happy

Love and lust
Hate and disgust
Four things that make up life, all so simple
Except for one

Love is brutal and tender
It sends chills down your spine
At the same time, hot and wild
And often, it’s a lonely walk down a crowded line.

Fools attempt to define love
Sent from above?
Taken by those below?
A seed which proceeds to grow?

It’s easy to fall in
Hard to escape
Looked upon as sin
Seen as a flimsy concept such as fate
Kid_Gates
Geek
Kid_Gates
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 289
May 29th, 2006 at 07:15am
Thats awesome!
Maybe.... just maybe..... the last line could go:
"Seen as a concept, such as fate"
Thats just my opinion..... the syllables fit better.
Loving the poem!
Sylar
Falling In Love With The Board
Sylar
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 5703
May 29th, 2006 at 07:18am
Thanks sweetheart Wink
clark
GSBitch
clark
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 79047
May 29th, 2006 at 08:11am
I liked that. Very Happy
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Peter Petrelli
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161
May 29th, 2006 at 08:47am
Didn't flow too well, but it was real pretty. I actually really liked it Very Happy
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
King For A Couple Of Days
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 2921

Mibba
May 29th, 2006 at 12:19pm
international_idiot:
Didn't flow too well, but it was real pretty. I actually really liked it Very Happy
Same. I don't know if it was just me, but when I was reading it I imagined that someone was giving a speech or something. Like so the voice in my head was all echoey like a microphone. Laughing Wow, that was pretty hard to understand...
Garrett Hanlund
This Board Is My Home
Garrett Hanlund
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 30801

Mibba Blog
May 29th, 2006 at 12:20pm
international_idiot:
Didn't flow too well, but it was real pretty. I actually really liked it Very Happy
I'm not the best eprson to be asking, I despise rhyming. o_O Continue.
Kurtni
Admin
Kurtni
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 34289

Mibba Blog
May 29th, 2006 at 12:22pm
I actually liked the flow, just because it doesnt sound like everything else doesnt mean it didnt flow well. Bravo.
Sylar
Falling In Love With The Board
Sylar
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 5703
May 29th, 2006 at 10:38pm
Thanks guys Up
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