August 22, 2005

Venting.



What the fuck do you take me for?
Just another girl you can take advantage of
strip them of everything and leave them behind
taking their hearts with you as you take one more
step away from what they thought you had.

What do we have?
Apparently not enough for you to care
about me, you, us, life, love, everything.
Such a level of apathy, you're patheticly hopeless,
I'm just hopeless and patheticly in love with you,
someone who barely even exists.

Remember when you swore to me?
Is Dani even dead, or is that another attempt
at sympathy and another little act to make everything
fit together, make everything perfect, or seem so.

We have two different defanitions of perfect.
Everything was perfect for me, I had someone
to love, and to think they loved me back. Every
little thing you said took another piece of my heart and
now I am no more. I'll continue to hear Sly's tales
of you falling piece by peace with every chemical consumed.

What does August 22 mean to you?

That's cool. There's alot of emotion in it. I like it.

I think that "I'll continue to hear Sly's tales of you falling piece by peace with every chemical consumed. " doesn't make much sense. What is that supposed to mean?

I like that. It's different and that's fucking awesome.

high_on_juicy_fruit:

That's cool. There's alot of emotion in it. I like it.

I concur. Near the end you used the word "perfect" a little bit too much in such a small expanse of lines. It would be better if you reworded it or used a thesaurus.

I liked it
Very strong emotions
but you made it work

alot of emotion. it was very good.

This is wonderful, The emotion is powerful =]

Kyna:

I think that "I'll continue to hear Sly's tales of you falling piece by peace with every chemical consumed. " doesn't make much sense. What is that supposed to mean?

Drugs. He's on drugs. I hate it. He lied to me and said he was clean but he isn't.

(Self Inflicted Coma):

Kyna:

I think that "I'll continue to hear Sly's tales of you falling piece by peace with every chemical consumed. " doesn't make much sense. What is that supposed to mean?

Drugs. He's on drugs. I hate it. He lied to me and said he was clean but he isn't.

So this is real stuff? Well then, that makes it even better. Good job, love. Try re-wording perfect a few times as said before.

Megan.:

(Self Inflicted Coma):

Kyna:

I think that "I'll continue to hear Sly's tales of you falling piece by peace with every chemical consumed. " doesn't make much sense. What is that supposed to mean?

Drugs. He's on drugs. I hate it. He lied to me and said he was clean but he isn't.

So this is real stuff? Well then, that makes it even better. Good job, love. Try re-wording perfect a few times as said before.

Yeah, I agree, but I was just like, venting in rythm, lolz.

I vent in rhyme also. Most of my poems are just me venting. You did an awesome job. I feel bad that he lied to you. Sometimes people don't realize how many others they are hurting when they do stuff like that.

Kyna:

I vent in rhyme also. Most of my poems are just me venting. You did an awesome job. I feel bad that he lied to you. Sometimes people don't realize how many others they are hurting when they do stuff like that.

Yeah, I love him soo much, but I dont think he understands.

This poem lost me the love of my life. He said I was a mistake.