Vanity and Death
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 2129 | May 29th, 2006 at 02:07pm December’s Embers
I stared out the window
that cold December morning,
To no one
Left except me.
I tried to hold back,
I tried to forget,
But when you came back
From what seemed an eternity,
It all flowed black.
Why, oh why?
Why, did it have to end?
Why did you and me together,
have to diminish?
Why did our feelings finish?
Maybe someday I'll know.
But as for now, I’m oblivious.
Remember back in June,
That hot sticky day at the lake?
We watched as the moon,
Melted upon the water,
And I think back to that,
And ask myself,
If you're gone,
Why do I feel that I cheat
When I see another girl?
Why do I feel that I'm cheap,
When I go for someone who looks just like you?
Why do I continue to reap,
over the loss of you?
Is there something wrong?
What do I have to do?
Please, baby,
Please come back soon.
I still love you,
You and I both know it.
[0ldddd Poem]
August 5, 2005 |
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 2921
 | May 29th, 2006 at 02:12pm I like it, but your more recent stuff is definitely better. |
Vanity and Death
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 2129 | May 29th, 2006 at 02:14pm [Flawless Error]:I like it, but your more recent stuff is definitely better. Thank you (: |
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161 | May 29th, 2006 at 02:27pm [Flawless Error]:I like it, but your more recent stuff is definitely better.
Definately. But I adored the seasons imagery. I really did. |
Inari
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 2538 | May 29th, 2006 at 02:58pm I agree with the others but I adored these lines:
We watched as the moon,
Melted upon the water |
newagecarny
Was Here Two Weeks Ago
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 42495
| May 30th, 2006 at 09:05am [Flawless Error]:I like it, but your more recent stuff is definitely better.
I agree. I loved this part, though.
Why did you and me together,
have to diminish?
Why did our feelings finish?
<3 |
snowcherry
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 3912 | May 30th, 2006 at 10:53am international_idiot:[Flawless Error]:I like it, but your more recent stuff is definitely better.
Definately. But I adored the seasons imagery. I really did.
*nods*
Same here.  |
Kme
Jackass
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 1279 | May 30th, 2006 at 11:04am I thought it was really good!  |
Garrett Hanlund
This Board Is My Home
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 30801
 | May 30th, 2006 at 03:44pm [Flawless Error]:I like it, but your more recent stuff is definitely better. Yes, but it if fun to go back and look at how much you have imporoved or your writing style has changed. I personally like this poem. It's not as..erm..k, this is gonna sound dumb: The lack of big words, metaphors, and all that makes it seem more..human, and easier to relate to. *hides* |
