Dear Person,

AuthorMessage
votefordisco
Rotting On Here
votefordisco
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 45710

Mibba
June 1st, 2006 at 04:03am
I think she had some kind of problem
But she'd never talk to me,
I never saw her face nor broke her gaze
I never saw her leave.

I'm not sure if she was real
Or just a vivid dream,
An angel sent to teach me love
So something more would seem.

Comments would be greatly appreiciated xx
rollerpig
GSBitch
rollerpig
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 62283
June 1st, 2006 at 09:50am
Hmm .. I like it! I dunno why ..
newagecarny
Was Here Two Weeks Ago
newagecarny
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 42495

Mibba
June 1st, 2006 at 10:04am
ADORE the second stanza. Up
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Peter Petrelli
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161
June 1st, 2006 at 10:07am
I really loved it Very Happy It was real pretty, real sweet. Awwwww.

But the flow was off badly. The rhyming didn't sound forced... but... it would sound better with a good rhythm.

But I do really like it Very Happy
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
King For A Couple Of Days
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 2921

Mibba
June 1st, 2006 at 02:42pm
Ella:
ADORE the second stanza. Up
Me too. =]
votefordisco
Rotting On Here
votefordisco
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 45710

Mibba
June 1st, 2006 at 11:54pm
Wow thanks for all of the comments guys! I know the flow isn't great or anything and the rythm is a bit shite...
It's just something I quickly wrote down the other day and I couldn't be bothered to make it perfect.
I'm generally just not very good at rythm anyway...Meh.

Thanks again! xx
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