Nothingness

This was writtne by my good mate Joel.
i read it and liked it and decided to post it (With his permission of course)

Nobody listened
Nobody cared
They all just watched
They all just stared
I'm screaming inside
And nobody knows
Because I have to much pride to say so
I do need help
I really do
But I fear that'd be asking to much of you
So as I sit back
Tears roll down my face
I'll go off in my own little place
All of this because of you
I hate you
I really do
I cut my self to watch is bleed
A little worm my heart will feed
Thinking this can't be right
Got so much stuff on my mind
I just want to find
Who I really am inside
I just don't know
So many tears
So much sorrow
So much blood to shed over you
I cry myself a sleep at night
Just wish someone would hold me tight
All I want is one wish
I wish every thing was alright
Or I wished someone cared
Since I feel like no one does
Im getting scared
I don't know why I feel this way
I feel like this almost every day
I sit and wait
For the phone to ring
If it did I would probably scream
Just to hear someone say my name
It would relieve so much pain
But no one knows
And no one cares
Been lied to and cheated on
But some how its my fault
The mistakes I've made
It's all on me
But I can own up to it
It's my responsibility
How dare you look me in the eyes
Tell me you love me and it be a lie
Tell her you love her and it be true
Sometime how I feel will make sense to you
But since I have your baby
I feel bad for the baby
This is her new lullaby
So angry, frustrated, and hurt
Can't eat, can't drink, can't think
I hope you’re happy
I really do
I wish the best for you
But be a man and walk away
Can't feel like this every day
It hurts me to say this
'cause I love you
I just wished someone cared
But since no one does
I'm getting scared

That's crap.

I would review, honestly, but I'm only going to offend you. Please use stanzas, cut down on the rhyming and think about something better to write.

Don't try to make it rhyme. I think it spoils the poem. I agree with Ella, try to find something better to write about.

Also, try using metaphors and being more creative.