Let the Impact of Life Knock You Off a Cliff

Some random poem:

Let the Impact of Life Knock You Off a Cliff

Several individuals don’t stop hating you
Long after you have left this retched world
What we did to this world was only destruction
Remember what we did makes me hair curl.

Together we turned the cocaine in life to sweet ecstasy.
Took a knife and carved our ideas into the minds of others.
They didn’t understand you; I knew you better than them.
Life as we know it will end when the pain is uncovered.

They can’t tell you who to be or what to do.
Or who to hang out with, because you’ll still get loaded.
You loved me, but they hated me oh so much.
The poems you have me were found only after we died.

Who cares what they think, because you are you.
Who cares if they beat me up. I’d still die for you.

This is the only thing I somewhat liked.

Together we turned the cocaine in life to sweet ecstasy.
Took a knife and carved our ideas into the minds of others.

Your poem isn't bad, I just thought there was nothing too interesting about it. Others might think different. Take care.

Ella:

This is the only thing I somewhat liked.

Together we turned the cocaine in life to sweet ecstasy.
Took a knife and carved our ideas into the minds of others.

Your poem isn't bad, I just thought there was nothing too interesting about it. Others might think different. Take care.

I agree with Ella.

I think everyone has been trying to use "advanced" and "big" words to make their poetry seem better, well it doesnt work. This isnt just directed at you, there are other too, who look up every other word in a thesaurus, and it suck that way. You should find the words, not some website. When you do that it kill the poetic value and makes the entire poem awful.

I_worship_tre_Cool:

I think everyone has been trying to use "advanced" and "big" words to make their poetry seem better, well it doesnt work. This isnt just directed at you, there are other too, who look up every other word in a thesaurus, and it suck that way. You should find the words, not some website. When you do that it kill the poetic value and makes the entire poem awful.

There aren't that many big words in this poem at all though. =/

Hardcore Panda!!1:

I_worship_tre_Cool:

I think everyone has been trying to use "advanced" and "big" words to make their poetry seem better, well it doesnt work. This isnt just directed at you, there are other too, who look up every other word in a thesaurus, and it suck that way. You should find the words, not some website. When you do that it kill the poetic value and makes the entire poem awful.

There aren't that many big words in this poem at all though. =/

yeah, they didn't do exactly that, their phrasing has the same effect though. All the poetry on GSB is becoming to similar.

Well, I really liked it Really liked it.

But I adored this line;
'Together we turned the cocaine in life to sweet ecstasy.
Took a knife and carved our ideas into the minds of others.'

I thought the poem was sweet, used some real good metaphors, and sounded kind of different to some of the poetry on here

I don't know why everyone else is on such a downer about it.

That's pretty cool.
I loved the second stanza.

I_worship_tre_Cool:

I think everyone has been trying to use "advanced" and "big" words to make their poetry seem better, well it doesnt work. This isnt just directed at you, there are other too, who look up every other word in a thesaurus, and it suck that way. You should find the words, not some website. When you do that it kill the poetic value and makes the entire poem awful.

I almost never do that. And I wrote this one on paper, actually. And I don't own a dictionary, haha. I admit to doing it every now and then...but not on this one.

And thanks for the people liking it.

And for the people saying the poetry is all starting to sound the same - Sooner or later ideas will run out. Why do you think they make remakes of movies?

Rachel. Testosterone Boy.:

I_worship_tre_Cool:

I think everyone has been trying to use "advanced" and "big" words to make their poetry seem better, well it doesnt work. This isnt just directed at you, there are other too, who look up every other word in a thesaurus, and it suck that way. You should find the words, not some website. When you do that it kill the poetic value and makes the entire poem awful.

I almost never do that. And I wrote this one on paper, actually. And I don't own a dictionary, haha. I admit to doing it every now and then...but not on this one.

And thanks for the people liking it.

And for the people saying the poetry is all starting to sound the same - Sooner or later ideas will run out. Why do you think they make remakes of movies?

Inspiration for poetry and variation between writters will never ever run out, there is a million different things to write about. This site is becoming limited to what everyone else does.

I_worship_tre_Cool:

Rachel. Testosterone Boy.:

I_worship_tre_Cool:

I think everyone has been trying to use "advanced" and "big" words to make their poetry seem better, well it doesnt work. This isnt just directed at you, there are other too, who look up every other word in a thesaurus, and it suck that way. You should find the words, not some website. When you do that it kill the poetic value and makes the entire poem awful.

I almost never do that. And I wrote this one on paper, actually. And I don't own a dictionary, haha. I admit to doing it every now and then...but not on this one.

And thanks for the people liking it.

And for the people saying the poetry is all starting to sound the same - Sooner or later ideas will run out. Why do you think they make remakes of movies?

Inspiration for poetry and variation between writters will never ever run out, there is a million different things to write about. This site is becoming limited to what everyone else does.

I almost never read poems on here, actually. I do on the occasion, but I don't want their ideas getting in my head. I used to have a problem with that. I've learned to think hard and to be inspired by what's around me. Life inspires me. Love inspires me. Hate inspires me. I've yet to write something on my latest annoyance (heartbreak). I just want a new way of writing poems. I have a thing for rhyming. So it almost always has to ryhme.
See, I usually do this:
A
B
A
B

C
D
C
D

E
F
E
F
G
G

Any suggestions?