Picture Perfect Self Distruction

AuthorMessage
Skullivan.[Im Not Okay]
Geek
Skullivan.[Im Not Okay]
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Posts: 225
June 4th, 2006 at 09:33am
It’s a work in progress. Ways on how to improve it are welcome.

Darkest fires,
Burn deepest souls,
Of misunderstood angels,
That take human form.

A strange kind of beauty,
Portrayed by blood soaked sheets,
And raging music,
Which covers the screaming.

Warped minds,
Stand under the rain,
Icy chill send shivers,
ThRough poison veins
Kurtni
Admin
Kurtni
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 34289

Mibba Blog
June 4th, 2006 at 09:39am
Wow, I wouldnt change anything, I like the simplicity, but it isn't all black and white either. Great Job.
snowcherry
King For A Couple Of Days
snowcherry
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 3912
June 4th, 2006 at 10:47am
Yeah, I like it as well.
I have no idea how to make it better, because it's really cool
as it is now.
Inari
King For A Couple Of Days
Inari
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 2538
June 4th, 2006 at 12:14pm
Beautiful.
Skullivan.[Im Not Okay]
Geek
Skullivan.[Im Not Okay]
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 225
June 4th, 2006 at 12:22pm
Thanks everyone Smile
newagecarny
Was Here Two Weeks Ago
newagecarny
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 42495

Mibba
June 4th, 2006 at 12:27pm
Darkest fires,
Burn deepest souls,
Of misunderstood angels,
That take human form.

A strange kind of beauty,
Portrayed by blood soaked sheets,
And raging music,
Which covers the screaming.
^I'd change that line to something else like;
"Embracing the screams."

Warped minds,
Stand under the rain,
Icy chills send shivers,
Through poison veins
^I think you meant that? Think

Overall, pretty good for something that short Wink
Skullivan.[Im Not Okay]
Geek
Skullivan.[Im Not Okay]
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 225
June 4th, 2006 at 12:31pm
Ella:
Darkest fires,
Burn deepest souls,
Of misunderstood angels,
That take human form.

A strange kind of beauty,
Portrayed by blood soaked sheets,
And raging music,
Which covers the screaming.
^I'd change that line to something else like;
"Embracing the screams."
Warped minds,
Stand under the rain,
Icy chills send shivers,
Through poison veins
^I think you meant that? Think

Overall, pretty good for something that short Wink

**hits self in head** ive seriously got to start checking my stuff properly!
Thanks for the suggestions!
newagecarny
Was Here Two Weeks Ago
newagecarny
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 42495

Mibba
June 4th, 2006 at 12:40pm
Don't mention it. Very Happy
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
King For A Couple Of Days
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 2921

Mibba
June 4th, 2006 at 01:11pm
I like that. Very Happy
CrazyEyes
Geek
CrazyEyes
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Posts: 112
June 5th, 2006 at 08:31pm
Wow, that was awesome.
neil patrick harris.
Jackass
neil patrick harris.
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 1678

Blog
June 6th, 2006 at 01:10am
that's alright...that's amazing
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Peter Petrelli
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161
June 6th, 2006 at 06:25am
Awwww, I really liked that. Sweet and simple, and really worked.
--xSarahx--
Idiot
--xSarahx--
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 962
June 6th, 2006 at 07:35am
OOOooOOOOoooo I like it Very Happy
Skullivan.[Im Not Okay]
Geek
Skullivan.[Im Not Okay]
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 225
June 6th, 2006 at 11:29am
Very Happy aww! thanks alot everyone
xXx depressed_emo xXx
Geek
xXx depressed_emo xXx
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Posts: 186
June 8th, 2006 at 06:52am
short and effective
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