Bye Bye Blackbird

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davey jones.
Falling In Love With The Board
davey jones.
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 7018

Mibba Blog
June 21st, 2006 at 10:09pm
Okay, this was originally written as a story I wrote, but I wanted to see how it'd do as poem...yes I know it's a bit boring, but you know what? It doesn't matter to me. Poems aren't supposed to be action movies...

Oh yeah, the title is the title of a song by Etta James. <3

Bye Bye Blackbird

Slower, slower, slower.
She felt her lethargic footsteps kiss the concrete
The morning light irradiated her profile.
She felt the familiar face of shame lap at the edges of her stride,
Not knowing why she wanted to smile.

The familiar neighborhood is alive with snow, white and frail
Each bit of Christmas cascading down through her hair
Her hands, free of gloves, are now as cold as the air she inhaled
As she walked along the cracked and beaten sidewalk,
She came across a fallen tree, its branches tapping her shoulder.

The small garden that guarded her apartment stoop was dead, no reason.
The tree that came to life in the spring was barren and ugly.
Winter just wasn't it's season.

Was this what she'd been dreaming about?
Was spring in the winter
As far as in as she'd ever been out?


Then, she attempted to elude the tree,
She noticed something out of the corner of her eye.

A blackbird.

It perched itself steadily on the bare, and leafless branch.
Its chirp alive and ready, its feathers full of life,
Its stance calm and steady.

Now what was a blackbird doing here?

Surely, it belonged somewhere else.

---

Laughing I guess I'm better at writing stories. I didn't go by any rules or standards on this one, so...

I'd tell you why I wrote it and who it's about, but you'd think I was weird. :\

o_o; I could show the story version...
Lor
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Lor
Age: 84
Gender: Female
Posts: 476

Blog
June 21st, 2006 at 10:11pm
It almost has an 'evil suburbia' feel to it. Nice job.
The Rev
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The Rev
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 14004
June 22nd, 2006 at 08:38am
i like it Cool
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
King For A Couple Of Days
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 2921

Mibba
June 22nd, 2006 at 01:51pm
Wow, I really liked this. It does have that story feel to it, but it worked well as a poem. It just got better and better as it went on.

The small garden that guarded her apartment stoop was dead, no reason.
The tree that came to life in the spring was barren and ugly.
Winter just wasn't it's season.
^That was perfect, right there. Cool
davey jones.
Falling In Love With The Board
davey jones.
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 7018

Mibba Blog
June 22nd, 2006 at 04:00pm
Thanks guys. Very Happy
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