Dead End Girl Addict
 Age: 32 Gender: Female Posts: 10219 | July 2nd, 2006 at 03:42pm So...yeah.
I felt bad for a while
But right now I'm out of pity
Seemed like a friendship built to last
Ended up with a kick in the ass
So this is what I get
For trying hard, on this sideshow
Ran to the walls, tried to get out
Tried to save us while going down
So this is what I deserve
For keeping my sanity this...long
I'll carry on, but for now you'll know
I tried hard on this sideshow
Self pity isn't very nice
When it haunts you for the rest of your life
It does last, I've seen this before
Waking up on every night on the bathroom floor
So this is what I get
For trying hard, on this sideshow
Ran to the walls, tried to get out
Tried to save us while going down
So this is what I deserve
For keeping my sanity this...long
I'll carry on, but for now you'll know
I tried hard on this sideshow
Fell down, ten stories fall
Couldn't care, wouldn't answer my call
Seemed like fun, good times to me
Couldn't realise that you couldn't...see |
Inari King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 37 Gender: Female Posts: 2538 | July 2nd, 2006 at 03:47pm Woah.
I loved that.
Incredible. |
snowcherry King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 36 Gender: Female Posts: 3912 | July 2nd, 2006 at 03:49pm So this is what I get
For trying hard, on this sideshow
Ran to the walls, tried to get out
Tried to save us while going down
So this is what I deserve
For keeping my sanity this...long
I'll carry on, but for now you'll know
I tried hard on this sideshow
Loved that bit  |
FCPSITSGEPGEPGEPanda King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 34 Gender: Female Posts: 2921
| July 2nd, 2006 at 03:57pm Fell down, ten stories fall
Couldn't care, wouldn't answer my call
Seemed like fun, good times to me
Couldn't realise that you couldn't...see
Bravo!  |
peas lover. King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 35 Gender: Female Posts: 3502
| July 2nd, 2006 at 04:00pm beautiful! i loved those two bits posted above! |
losers_are_cool King For A Couple Of Days
 Age: 33 Gender: Female Posts: 4120 | July 3rd, 2006 at 11:05am Okay, the part that threw me in this poem was the line "Ended up with a kick in the ass." I know you meant it that way, and I know it rhymes, but I prefer songs/poetry that try to stay away from any sort of cursing.
Once I was past that line though, I really enjoyed the poem. It touched me....and made me remember some part of my past. I'm definitely not going to tell you to change that one line, because I know that's just how you meant it. And for me, the remainder of the poem redeemed itself. 
I really like your writing style. Good job.  |