[Your Best Mistake]
Idiot
![[Your Best Mistake]](/data/board-avatars/empty.gif)
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 551 | July 24th, 2006 at 11:49am Okay, this is one of my first poems, so honest answers please. Plus, I can't think of a title. Any offers?
A sky so blue, it would seem to never end
And a summer sun that scorches down upon the human race
And a summer romance of semi-conscious, whispered, sweet nothings.
Two children, both sighing sweet, vanilla-flavoured innocence…
Except- his angel of individuality has no idea-
That her prince is nothing more than deceit in human form
With a Pandora’s box, of filthy secrets and broken hearts
Oh angel, can’t you see?
You’re dancing towards a battle- a skirmish of heart and soul.
It wasn’t your fault…
So, angel, dance through the summer scented flowers in the bright meadow of naivety
Because, as your treasure collector once said, to banish the guilt-
Not all treasure is silver and gold.
|
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161 | July 24th, 2006 at 11:56am I really liked it.  I'm not good with titles, though, sorry. You could arrange it into stanzas, some of the longer lines look very out of place. But otherwise, I loved it. |
[Your Best Mistake]
Idiot
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 551 | July 24th, 2006 at 11:58am Cheers. I'll do that.  |
michaeldirnt
Idiot
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 737 | July 24th, 2006 at 12:10pm em Lost Innocence im not great with titles em or writing anything come to think of it
your poems amazing your a great writer though i do agree you should make the longer lines into stanzas |
Protest the Hero.
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 6048 | July 24th, 2006 at 12:16pm Pandora's Box.
Or Silver and Gold.
I loved it. |
[Your Best Mistake]
Idiot
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 551 | July 24th, 2006 at 12:17pm Yeah....I was kinda going for something like that, cuz I got the last line from a film... |
