rage;love;clark
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 494 | July 29th, 2006 at 12:45am All of the jewels in the world
Could not as brightly shine
As the jade I see before me
When your eyes meet mine
I close my eyes and dream of days
Dreams not yet obtained
And it breaks me to think it’s far away
But this fact still remains
As long as you’re mine for now
Why would I be sad?
We’ll make it through the time some how
Because we are not a passing fad
My love for you is patient
My love for you is strong
My love for you is such that I’ll admit what I’ve done wrong
I would do anything for your face
Eyes cradled softly with your grace
I would break my own heart to save your life
I would do anything to set it right
The world needs a you
More than the world needs a me
And this is the truth
It is elementary |
Emily-Cool
Falling In Love With The Board
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 6657 | July 29th, 2006 at 06:48am The world needs a you
More than the world needs a me - i really love that part, thats really well written, well done! |
Peter Petrelli
King For A Couple Of Days
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 4161 | July 29th, 2006 at 07:00am I can't pick a favourite line. It's absolutely beautiful, and by far the most sincere, poetic, and crafted piece you've written. I think that perhaps the longer lines look out of place, but it didn't sound forced or cliched at all. Most would've chosen a ruby or a diamond. Not you. Jade is absolutely divine, and it gives the poem an edge. |
rage;love;clark
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 494 | July 29th, 2006 at 08:14am international_idiot:I can't pick a favourite line. It's absolutely beautiful, and by far the most sincere, poetic, and crafted piece you've written. I think that perhaps the longer lines look out of place, but it didn't sound forced or cliched at all. Most would've chosen a ruby or a diamond. Not you. Jade is absolutely divine, and it gives the poem an edge.
 thank you so much! |
rage;love;courtney
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 20 | July 30th, 2006 at 01:05am you don't even want to know how much work it took to get this comment on here
but i absolutely love it |
Hardcore_rock_fan
Shoot Me, I'm A Newbie
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 18 | July 30th, 2006 at 01:09am beautiful =D |
Retro Suicide
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 103 | July 30th, 2006 at 01:12am It's nice. I like it. It's so beautifully written.
However it got a little confusing because it's not seperated by stanzas. And there is no one rhyme scheme to it. I'm actually surprised you pulled it off. I think it could use a little bit of editting.
But other than that, I absolutely adore it. |
Whitney.
Idiot
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 507 | July 30th, 2006 at 01:25am wowee.
that IS beautifully written
i like it its awesome. |
rage;love;clark
Geek
Age: -
Gender: -
Posts: 494 | July 31st, 2006 at 09:36pm Retro Suicide:It's nice. I like it. It's so beautifully written.
However it got a little confusing because it's not seperated by stanzas. And there is no one rhyme scheme to it. I'm actually surprised you pulled it off. I think it could use a little bit of editting.
But other than that, I absolutely adore it.
thank you so much! |
