| Author | Message |
|---|
watch me fade
Idiot
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 936 | August 5th, 2006 at 04:37pm I'll see you around
Please get well soon
Come back to me
Say you're alright
Tell me you're fine
Don't ever leave
What if you do?
Would I go on?
I guess it's time
Time to find out
Please answer these questions i have
My faith in you will die one day
Don't let that day be some time soon
Cos on that day my life will change
i bet it is really crap but just tell me what you think. just to let you know it is about my dad who died last september from cancer
I'll see you in a different light |
[Broken Pretty]
Idiot
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 572 | August 6th, 2006 at 10:12pm im so sorry.  |
watch me fade
Idiot
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 936 | August 6th, 2006 at 10:15pm it hurts pretty bad and no matter how much people say they are sorry it wont make it any better but i appriciate the gesture |
k-contentbarrier-
Addict
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 14139 | August 6th, 2006 at 10:27pm The fact that it's about the death of your father doesn't change the fact that it's a poorly written poem. |
Garrett Hanlund
This Board Is My Home
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 30801
  | August 6th, 2006 at 10:29pm Mr. Pirate:The fact that it's about the death of your father doesn't change the fact that it's a poorly written poem. Kyle, you could have said that nicer.
I agree it's sweet to write that about your father, but it's not that great of a poem. I liked some of the wording a lot, though.
The flow was off. That's the only thing I have to critisize. |
watch me fade
Idiot
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 936 | August 6th, 2006 at 10:38pm yeh. i must say i was crying my eyes out and not REALLY thinking strait when i wrote it |
Garrett Hanlund
This Board Is My Home
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 30801
| August 6th, 2006 at 10:45pm Hazel:yeh. i must say i was crying my eyes out and not REALLY thinking strait when i wrote it And that's what creates the most beautiful of works. To me, poetry isn't all about pretty words and metaphors. To me, poetry is feeling. |
watch me fade
Idiot
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 936 | August 6th, 2006 at 10:46pm awww. aint you nice? |
radioactive
Geek
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 338
| August 7th, 2006 at 06:32am *hugs* i like it, mabey if you revise it a little and stuff itll be better =] but this is only a first draft (i think) so i cant hate it on your first try and i wont hate it anyway i like it  |
watch me fade
Idiot
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 936 | August 7th, 2006 at 08:36am yeh it was my first dfart thingy. i will go over it some time and make it better |
